Favourite lines in Quantum Leap

Lightning McQueenie

Project QL Intern
Dec 8, 2005
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Here's where you post some of your favourite lines in our favourite series. Just for fun, let's not say what episodes they're from (let the other posters guess :p ). Mine include...

"If Papa were alive, he'd die!"

"You yellow-bellied egg-sucking chicken turd!"

"If a pound of butter's all it takes, I got me a dairy farm..."
 
Well,here are some of the funniest lines from Quantum leap!


"Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures." ~ Al

Al: Well, we been having some difficulty. Ziggy, he's, uh, going through mood swings. I think we need get a girl computer put it right next to him, one with a nice set of *hard* disks.
Sam: You would.

Al: There are five stages of love. The first is denial, then the second is sex, then there's acceptance, then there's divorce... and then there's more sex, if you're lucky.
Sam: Who wrote this textbook, you or Zsa Zsa?



Al: I went over to check out the cheerleaders. Oh, Sam. There was one little girl who had these pommelos, man.
Sam: Pommelos are grapefruit.
Al: Pommel - that's my point!

Sam: Wanna bite? Oh, I'm sorry, you're a hologram.


Al: Do you have any Sweet 'n Low? Or Equal?
Kelly: Sweet 'n low? Equal?
Sam: No, no, no, no, no. They didn't have any artificial sweetner in 1945. Okay?[Sam looks at Kelly.]
Sam: But boy, did they have women with big kazooms!


Sam: You're not just a bartender.
Bartender Al: That's true. I own the place, too.
 
Finally, something sexual you're NOT into.

Just because you were a practicing pervert at the age of five doesn't mean all the rest of us have to be. (Not sure whether I quoted those exactly, but something along those lines. Both were Sam to Al). :lol


The ones below are all from the same episode. This particular episode had some hilarious lines... :lol Priceless.

"Vengeance is mine, thus sayeth the hologram!" (Sam)


Sam: If a pound of butter’s all it takes, then I got me a dairy farm that I—oh, my God, I am so sorry, that’s a horrible thing to say! I don’t know what came over me, why I would …yes I do, yes I do, this is all your fault!
Al: My fault?
Sam: When I leaped I must have gotten part of your lecherous side-Awww-Oh my Go…You’ve got a filthy mind!

Al: This isn’t fair, Sa-am—A beautiful body like that and I’m just thinking pure thoughts? Dammit!

Al: Take a hike, Mr. Morals, Calavicci’s taking over.

Sam: (To Ziggy) Give me what I want, baby!
 
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"She knew ... she knew how I liked my burger. Shove that up your gauge circuits Ziggy."
--Sam in Star Crossed

"Am I ever wrong?!...marriages don't count."
--Al, Leaping without a Net

"Oh, she stripped... SHE STRIPPED?! SHE STRIPPED AND I MISSED IT! Sam, I'm supposed to be the observer on this project, I should've been here to observe it."
--Al, Maybe Baby

"Sam, wake up and smell the seventies, you're looking at genuine 100% high grade virgin polyester - the only thing that got me more women was my spacesuit."
--Al, Disco Inferno

Sam: We all wonder sometimes if we're doing the right thing. I guess all you can do is just believe that you'll make a difference in the long run.
 
"Some people believe in Fate, that nothing we do, for better or for worse, can change the course of our lives - but after leaping about in time I've seen that just the opposite is true, sometimes you can right things that went wrong, and miracles can happen."
--Sam
 
Sam: Al, this is horrible! I have to get out of here! (he said that sort of thing in several leaps, although the wording might not have been exactly that). :lol

Al: I once remember my first, no it was my third, wife... (also in several episodes to begin some of the stories he told Sam).