Message-Id: <9401122053.AA08480@hardrock.isi.com>
Sender: mav%hardrock@hopper.isi.com
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 1994 12:50:49 -0800
To: alt-ql-creative@cisco.com
From: mav@isi.com
Subject: Two Dweebs...- Story Part 2

Len slugged Joe's arm, "What are we going to do? Joe? Joe!"

Though driving, Joe reciprocate the blow. "Shuddup. I'm thinking."

Sam knew they were in a quandary and thought he could help out. "Look 
guys, I know you must be desperate..."

"I didn't think babies could say 'desperate' at three years old," Len 
said, his eyes widening at this miraculous incident.  To correct him, 
Sam held up two fingers. "Uh, two years old."

Joe bit his bottom lip and rocked back and forth waiting for the light 
to turn green. "He was talking gibberish.  I say we drop the kid 
somewhere after we get this car to Big Ben. That way we lose the 
goods quickly."

His partner became suddenly silent at a thought. "If we're caught, 
we'll be charged with kidnapping."

Joe back-smacked Len on the side of his head. "If we don't get to 
Ben's quick, we will get caught."

Al began laughing, "Piece of cake, Sam. These guys are morons. 
A bunch of stooges."

Sam didn't find it so amusing, his uncomfortable bottom becoming 
more torture than discomfort as the minutes wore on. "And what am 
I?  Baby Huey?"  

Len turned back to Sam, "What?"

Joe turned to Len, "What?"

Len turned to Joe, "He's talking!"

Joe couldn't stand it.  "You're hearing things." To prove his point, 
Joe turned to look at Sam.

"Goo-goo." Sam blurted.

Joe chuckled. "See?" But Len was not convinced and argued his defense. 
Al continued laughing.

"Goo-goo?"

Sam spoke low under the duo's disagreement. "Ziggy got anything now?"
Al blew some smoke and jabbed the Link. 

"OK. Here we go. Johnny was sold to a baby."

"I am a baby," Sam deadpanned.  Frustrated, Al hit the Link.

"Oh, a baby...broker."

"A baby broker?" Sam repeated.

Joe nodded. "Good idea, Len."

Len shook his head and squinted. "What?"

"A baby broker," Joe went on, "We'll ask Ben if he knows where we can 
find one. Oh, yes. More money."

"Good going, Sam," Al rubbed it in. 

Len didn't like the turn of events. "But Joe, what about the parents? 
How would you feel about losing a baby?"

This didn't even phase the more insensitive driver. "They could have 
another." While the two argued it out...again...Al consulted the wise 
hybrid computer. 

"Ziggy says Joe Schmo  and Pig Pen Len here are brothers. They 
actually get away with this kidnapping and are never caught. Mary 
and Bruce divorce over the stress.  Johnny is never located. He was 
probably put up for adoption and they changed his name."

Sam was distracted. "I can't get out of this belt again."

"Wait it out, Sam," Al encouraged. "You don't die and you don't have 
to go anywhere now."

"Yes, I do!" Sam was adamant. "I have to go home." As soon as he said 
it, there was regret.  He knew how much  everybody at the Project cared, 
how they were desperately trying to come up with a no-fault retrieval 
system based on his own computations.  

Al strained over the Link. "We're working on it, Sam."

Slowly moving out of the seat, Sam reached over and began to pull the 
door handle. "In the meantime," he whispered, "I'll just roll out the 
door...."
If Al could, he would have noogied the scientist.  "Are you nuts?! 
At this speed?"

"I don't know when I'll have another chance, Al," Sam reasoned.

"Don't Sam. You're not as invincible as you may think." Sam looked 
out of the window, and noting the whizzing trees as they flew down 
the off-ramp, had to agree. 

"You're right. I guess I'm feeling a little helpless, uncomfortable...
and threatened."

Al lightened up. "Oh...and Verbeena says to remind you not to be 
too verbal. Unlike the chimp, you have human vocal chords and if 
someone concentrates...."

Sam saddled back into the seat. "...they'll be able to understand..." 
Sam had been motioning with his hands and stopped when he connected 
with Len.  "....me?"

The nervous thief tapped his brother. "Joe, Joe! I'm not kidding.  
That baby's talking." Joe, trying to stay in the speed limit, watch 
for cops, and figure out the next plan, turned briefly to spy on Sam.
 
"Ga-ga," Sam smiled innocently. This lead to another Len-whallop.

"Whaddya do that fer?"

Joe tried to remain calm. "Enough with the lies, Len. We have to 
concentrate. Now, I don't want any more 'baby's talking' crap."  
Len turned to give Sam a peeved look, which Sam shrugged to and 
uncharacteristically stuck out his tongue.

Al burst out laughing. "Keep that up Sam and they'll be desperate 
to get rid of you." Both Sam and Al looked at each other at this 
brainstorm. 

"No problem," Sam said.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Mary clung limply to Bruce's chest.  "It was only for a second," she 
whispered to Lt. Katerich, a 15 year veteran of the LAPD, husband and 
father, who calmly took down her words. He had been in the area when 
the call came through, but not quick enough to catch sight of the 
stolen vehicle. 

Abruptly, Bruce took hold of her arms and pushed her away.  His 
face finally showing he understood what happened.  "How could you 
leave him?"

Mary shook her arms to release his grip. "Me? You were the one 
out gallivanting around"

"All right now folks," Katerich interrupted. "Unless I get a full 
deposition, this won't go out." He had their full attention now.  
"Every minute here is precious time you and your child can't 
afford to waste.  If you love your boy, then let's work together 
on this." He waited a beat as this sunk in. "Well?"

Mary began sobbing on Bruce's shoulder.

Bruce patted her affectionately and answered, "He's two and a 
half years old. Brown hair. Mischievous smile..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sam's smile grew wider and wider as Al whooped with delight. The cold 
juice poured down Len's back just as the two were in the height of 
their fight.  In a fit of anger, Len snatched the juice bottle from 
Sam who was momentarily startled.  "Cut it out, you!" he screamed.

Sam took his cue from Al's encouragement, "Go ahead. It's appropriate 
behavior." 

So the quantum physicist looked right at Len and let him have it. 
"WHAAAAAAAA!" Joe seemed to get the brunt of this childish response, 
however.

"Len, make him stop. My  nerves are fried."

"WHAAAAAA!!!!!"

"Me? I can't stand the brat."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

Joe's patience was also fried. "And you're the one who doesn't 
want to give him away?" 

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

"I could never be that heartless." Len looked back to find Sam's 
'crying' had turned into fast inhales and hiccuping sobs. 

"Wha. (hic)  wha. (sniff)  wha."

Joe went on, "Listen. Any mother who would leave her kid, doesn't 
deserve to be a mother. Little squirt will be better off with parents 
who really love him."

"Maybe," Len relented.

Al sympathized. "He's got a point."  Sam halted mid-hic in disbelief.
 
"That's not fair. Leaving her kid for one minute doesn't make her a 
bad mother - just inexperienced," Sam whispered.

Al bit on his cigar. "Let's just say my mother experience has not 
been all that positive."

Noting the still bickering brothers, Sam said, "Well mine was. And 
Mary isn't 'bad' - she just needs a little common sense."

"Well, this is a great punishment..."

"...that doesn't fit the crime," Sam finished. He paused to look out 
the window and noted that they had entered a run-down section of 
downtown Los Angeles where the brick building were mostly autobody 
shops with car parts littering the alleys.  

After what seemed like hours to Sam, they drove into an open lot with 
a windowless business store marked "Big Ben's Auto."  The constant 
fighting between the two gave him a good picture of each of their 
personalities and he was determined to play off it. 

"...I'm not backing down. That kid's a commodity and I'm cashing in,"
 Joe shouted. 

"Even if he is a brat - it's just not right," Len countered.

"And stealing cars is? I can't believe after all these years, 
you'd actually have morals?"

Len unbuckled his seat belt. "I like to think of it as having a 
sense of decency."

Joe laughed. "We both lost that with the first stolen candybar. 
The matter's closed." With finality, he got out of the car. Len 
pensively looked back at Sam then started to open the door. Sam 
tapped him on the arm and, when he turned back, gave him a 3 Stooges 
poke to the eyes and a "whoop, whoop, whoop, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk."  
Len was not amused. Though he had finally accepted Sam's gift of gab, 
it wasn't easy. 

"Keep it up kid, and I'll make sure you go to a military family."

Al drew back slightly, insulted. "Hey!" 

Sam could only smile and start to unbelt himself again.  Len got out 
and Al tried a pick-me-up. "Don't try anything crazy, Sam. I'll be right 
back as soon as we have more info. I got the street address; should be 
a breeze. And you..."  He stopped and pointed at Sam. "....You misbehave 
yourself. That's an order."

Out of the undignified confines, Sam saluted Al a la Benny Hill. "Aye, 
aye, Cap'n."

Al smiled slighted while ready to hit the Chamber Door exit button. 
"That's Admiral, Doctor Beckett." Sam waved him off and the Imaging 
Chamber Door exploded in light, engulfing Al. Sam was on his own, 
and ready for fun.


____| | |      Christina Mavroudis    | | |____
 ___|_| |    Integrated Systems, Inc. | |_|___
  __|_|_|        Santa Clara, CA      |_|_|__
    \_|_|______      Ext. 241    _____|_|_/
      \_|_____________________________|_/