Date: Wed, 29 Oct 1997 18:11:05 -0700 (MST) From: "Katherine R. Freymuth" Subject: Memories - Part 12 Message-ID: Quantum Leap Memories by Katherine R. Freymuth Copyright 1997 Part 12 Several hours passed as Sam comforted Linda and John while Michael slowly sobered up in his bedroom, fully awake despite Sam's suggestion. Al, meanwhile, examined the living room, dining room, and kitchen, no longer looking frightened but still looking a bit confused. Sam had put Linda and John to bed early, given they had fallen asleep in his arms as he had comforted them. He returned to the living room to see Al examining the room. "How are they?" Al questioned, not looking at Sam. Sam walked to the couch and sat down so that he was facing Al. "Who? Michael or the children?" he questioned the Admiral. Al looked at Sam. "Both, actually." Sam took a deep breath. "Well, Linda and John seem to be handling everything pretty well at the moment. I calmed them enough to get them to sleep." Al nodded. "Well, you learn to bounce back quickly when something like what happened happens," Al commented. "And Michael?" Sam leaned forward and folded his hands. "He's going to need a little more time. He still believes he should leave the house permanently but I'm sure I can talk him out of that and into getting help." He looked at Al with concern. "How about you? You seemed a little spooked back then but your stutter has stopped." Al took a breath. "Hopefully permanently." He hesitated. "I really don't want to talk about it, Sam. I'm not sure I know the whole story." "Then tell me what you do know," Sam instructed. Al avoided Sam's gaze by raising the handlink and fiddling with it. Sam frowned. Al had done this many times before and Sam had occasionally let it pass. But not this time." "Al," Sam said firmly but gently. "Put away the handlink and look at me." Al closed his eyes as he slowly put the handlink in his jacket's pocket. He turned to tell Sam that nothing was wrong. Unfortunately, he made eyes contact with the physicist. He exhaled loudly and began to pace. "You remember I told you I've been having images in my head." Sam nodded. "Well, they're not just images," Al said quietly. "I've learned that they're actually memories that have been slowly coming to the surface - memories which, for some reason, I've buried deep inside me so that I didn't even know they existed." "Memories about your childhood," Sam concluded. Al nodded. "More specifically, about my mother." He stopped his pace and looked at Sam firmly. "Sam, my mother was an abusive alcoholic, just like Michael. And the similarities between Linda and me, Trudy and John, are just too close. Of course, John isn't as far advanced as Trudy was but he is the same age Trudy was when I was six, just like Linda now." "Your mother hit you?" Sam questioned to urge Al to continue. Al exhaled. "More times than I can count, though most of those times I deserved it." Sam frowned at Al strongly upon his words. Al raised his hand to ward off criticism. "Let me rephrase that," he told Sam. "More often than not, she was punishing me for a wrong that I had done. I wasn't a good little boy, Sam. In fact, I was a bit of a devil. I got into fights all of the time and would sneak out of the house with Trudy to visit Madd. Never at night, though. Mostly when my mother had drank herself to sleep. She was usually still asleep when we came back." "But sometimes she wasn't," Sam concluded. Al nodded. "I got more beatings for that and fighting than for anything else." He huffed. "Hell of a way to try to teach a kid not to use violence to solve problems, huh?" Sam frowned. "And your father did nothing about it?" Al glared at Sam with obviously hurt feelings. "My father knew nothing about it. He worked out of town five out of seven days. When he did come home, my mother would tell him that I had gotten into another fight, which nine out of ten times was true but it wasn't the complete truth." Al got a sad look in his eyes. "I don't think he ever knew until she left." "With the encyclopedia salesman," Sam commented for confirmation. He was surprised with Al's response. "I don't think so, Sam," Al replied, shaking his head. "I don't remember everything about the day she left but I'm pretty sure now that isn't why she left." Sam took a breath. He straightened himself slightly on the couch. "What happened, Al?" Al hesitated, lowering his head and closing his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and looked at Sam. "I don't know why but, when I came home from school that day, she was drunk and furious. She kept... hitting me and accusing me of call her a bad parent to Trudy. I remember I had given Trudy something and my mother had accused me of theft." "Was it theft?" Sam asked. Al shook his head indignantly. "No. One thing I didn't do when I was a kid, Sam, was break the law. When I was a teenager, yes. But not when I was six." He took a deep breath, gathering his composure. "I swear I had never seen her that angry before. The more I tried to protect Trudy and myself, the harder she..." He closed his eyes and exhaled. "Next thing I knew, I woke up with a terrible headache and I tried to stop her from leaving. That's when I broke the window with my fist." Sam lowered his head slightly in sympathy. "So, you think she left for the same reasons Michael wants to leave." Al nodded slightly. "To protect me and Trudy from herself," he told Sam quietly. He looked up at the ceiling blankly. "But I have no proof of it. I can't understand why she didn't leave a note or something to explain it to us. She just... left." He lowered his head and shook it slowly. "Gawd," he whispered. "Sam didn't say a word, knowing that, if there were more to say, Al would say it without Sam pressuring him. He did look at Al to encourage him to continue. Al looked at Sam, feeling the scientist's eyes on him. "You expect more?" Al questioned. Sam took a breath. "From the look in your eyes, I can tell there is more." Al lowered his eyes at Sam's words. "Remembering the truth has just brought up more questions. Why didn't I remember all of this before? Why didn't she leave a note?" He looked at Sam. "Why, for the past fifty-nine years, have I believed that she ran off with an encyclopedia salesman?" Sam looked at Al firmly. "There is one more question." Al frowned. "What?" Sam paused. "Now that you remember the truth, can you finally forgive her?" Al rubbed the bottom of his face and turned away from Sam. "I don't know," he said quietly. "I just don't know."