"Another Mother"
The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of 5 has nothing to do with the rest of the world!
-- Sam to Al, "Another Mother"

Mom . . . How?
Girl Scouts.
Awesome.
-- Kevin and Sam, "Another Mother"

Knowledge by gender, jerk.
-- Susan, "Another Mother"

Advice from the world's most sexually backward teenager!
-- Al to Sam, "Another Mother"

If you hurt him you scumbag, I'll kill you.  I don't know how but I'll kill you.
-- Al, "Another Mother"

Sam, me and Wookie made a painting.
-- Theresa, "Another Mother"

I'm glad you're enjoying this positive parenting experience but...
-- Sam to Al, "Another Mother"

That's not my mommy, that's a man! ... and so's the guy in the yucky shirt.
-- Theresa, "Another Mother"

Angel Sam is the Doll Elf.
-- Al, "Another Mother"

They don't give degrees to the hopelessly *stupid*.
-- Kevin, "Another Mother"

Your laundry's done.
-- Al, "Another Mother"

Inch worm...
-- Al, "Another Mother"

Are you angels?
Yes.
No.
This is angel Sam, and I'm angel Al.
-- Teresa, Al and Sam, "Another Mother"

~Susan: Mom, I'm gonna miss Magnum!
Sam: It's gonna run for the next eight years, okay? I think you got a little time. "Another Mother"