"Honeymoon Express"
You've done it to me this time!
-- Sam (glancing heavenward), "Honeymoon Express"

Why would a cop bring his gun and handcuffs on his honeymoon?  . . . I'm thinking like Al!
-- Sam, looking at Diane, "Honeymoon Express"

Do you want me to come back later?
-- Al, popping in on "Tom" and Diane, "Honeymoon Express"

Why are you wasting this on him?
-- Al (glancing heavenward), "Honeymoon Express"

Not the men's room again, Sam, I'm starting to feel like a pervert.
-- Al, "Honeymoon Express"

I've done everything I think you put me here to do, so please, either leap me out of here or look the other way.
-- Sam, "Honeymoon Express"

What are you doing?
Reading your champagne bubbles.  It's kinda like reading tea leaves only it's more accurate.
-- Diane and Sam, "Honeymoon Express"

You'll enter politics ... and become the first President of the United States to give birth in the oval office.
-- Sam to Diane, "Honeymoon Express"

Is that how your mother calmed you down, by making you laugh?
No, she gave me a book to read.
At 2?
-- Diane and Sam, "Honeymoon Express"

I have loved every woman I ever slept with ... at the time I slept with them.
-- Al, "Honeymoon Express"

She thinks I'm her husband ... in a few minutes she's going to expect me to go in there and make love to her.
What's the problem?
-- Sam and Al, "Honeymoon Express"

Oh Sam, you're going to have to bite the bullet.  While I go back to put research on line, you're going to have to face a beautiful woman, who wants to spend the entire night making mad, passionate love to you.  It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.
-- Al, "Honeymoon Express"

Admiral, are you trying to tell us that God has taken control of Project Quantum Leap?
-- the Senate Committee Chairman, "Honeymoon Express"

He works in mysterious ways.
Evidently, so does this project.
-- Al and the Senator, "Honeymoon Express"

Excuse me, Mr. Chairman, but if you kill this project you will end one of the greatest adventures mankind has ever taken.  And more important, you'll leave a brave man back there alone.
He's not alone, Admiral, he has God.
-- Al and the Senator, "Honeymoon Express"

I'm sorry, I know you're not getting the honeymoon you expected.
-- Sam to the mirror, "Honeymoon Express"

What does Ziggy say?
Since when do you listen to egotistical hybrid computers?
Since you started talking global impact.
-- Sam and Al, "Honeymoon Express"

I have something to tell you, my name isn't Tom McBride.
Oh, what is it?
Beckett, it's Sam Beckett.
The playwright?
... I don't think so.
Then who?
Primarily I'm a quantum physicist ...
Oh, I like it ... and I'm Lara, the KGB's sexiest agent.  I boarded the Orient Express with orders to seduce Sam Beckett, America's most famous astrophysicist...
Quantum physicist...
and have him fall madly in love with me and drive him crazy by refusing to sleep with him until he tells me how to make a hydrogen bomb.
-- Sam and Diane, "Honeymoon Express"

If you don't prove you're back here they're gonna shut down the project.
In case you hadn't noticed, I don't need the project, they aren't leaping me around any more, God is.
-- Al and Sam, "Honeymoon Express"

If they shut down the project, you won't be able to contact me.
I was thinking of trying a couple of tin cans on a piece of string.
-- Sam and Al, "Honeymoon Express"

I don't think I can make it without you, Al.
-- Sam, "Honeymoon Express"

Next time it will be easier.
-- Roget, after Sam stabs him, "Honeymoon Express"

I know you haven't proven that Dr. Beckett has traveled back in time or that if having done so he can make an impact of global importance, but it is the opinion of this committee that such heroic undertakings advance the human cause and whether or not they succeed is not so important as the fact that we tried.
-- Senator Diane McBride, "Honeymoon Express"

You're not afraid of me.
No.
You should be. I'm going to kill you.
-- Roget and Sam, "Honeymoon Express"

Come on, come on, come on <whistle>... here boy.
-- Sam (paging Al), "Honeymoon Express"

In two days, the Russians are going to shoot down the U2.
The rock group?
--Al and Sam, "Honeymoon Express"