"Southern Comforts"
Of all the partners in the whole wide world that I should have to choose, and what do I end up with?  The Prudent Prince.
-- Al, "Southern Comforts"

Don't do anything I wouldn't do - but if you do, take pictures.
-- Al, "Southern Comfort"

Don't hit him, Sam!
-- Al, "Southern Comforts"

Did I miss a party?  Damn.
-- Al, "Southern Comforts"

I think she's as lost here as I am.
-- Sam, "Southern Comforts"

I remember all the boys used to chase you back in Lake Charles.
And most of them caught me.
-- Gina and Marcia, "Southern Comforts"

Not this time, Al.
-- Sam, ready to leap, "Southern Comforts"

Blow? ... Yeah the candles.
-- Sam, "Southern Comforts"

The only thing being sewn out there is wild oats.
-- Al, "Southern Comforts"

Go away ... yes GO AWAY ... Don't come back until you know why I'm here.  There's nothing for you to see out there.  Now just GO AWAY.
Of all the partners in the whole wide world that I should have to pick and what do I end up with?  The Prudent Prince.
-- Sam and Al, "Southern Comforts"

Says who?
Says me and this shotgun.
Now lady, you better be careful with that thing because it might accidently go off.
If it goes off it won't be no accident!
-- The sailor and the housekeeper, "Southern Comforts"

The boys from Shreveport are here.
-- Bo Peep, "Southern Comforts"

Stir my gumbo.
Yes Ma'am.
Now don't you be sassin me!
-- Sam and the housekeeper, "Southern Comforts"

Oh this looks so good.  I wish I could smell it.
-- Al, about the gumbo, "Southern Comforts"

Why don't you go tell everybody that we're taking the night off.
Oh goodie ... and then some other things too!
-- Sam and Marcia, "Southern Comforts"

Trust me ... I know what I'm doing.
-- Sam, "Southern Comforts"

I'd stick around too, but I hate to see a grown man cry, especially when it's me.
-- Al, "Southern Comforts"

I think it's time I unwrapped your birthday present, don't you?
Oh boy.
-- Marcia (undressing) and Sam, "Southern Comforts"

You mean to say this man has solicited the affections of more than one of these women?
He offered it to me.
And me ... and me ... and me
and he even offered it to ME.
-- The sheriff, the Sewing and Quilting Academy girls and the housekeeper, "Southern Comforts"

I think I'll go upstairs and take a long hot bath.
Ah ... Sam, I think I'll do a little exploring up there, wanna come?
Not this time.
Oh no, Sam no, don't leap yet, no ...
-- one of the girls, Al and Sam, "Southern Comforts"