"Miss Deep South"

 [Peg Myers is giving her introductory orientation speech to the entrants. Her speech is partially audible throughout in the background.]

Al: Yeah. Like jockey shorts.

Sam: That's very funny, Al.

-- begin cut -->

Sam: I'm a beauty queen.

Al: Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I had a fling with a beauty queen?

Sam: No, and I don't want to know.

Al: I was in flight school, and she was Miss Tail Gunner nineteen fifty-five. I'm telling you, she had a major-league set of gun turrets. [Sam looks stern.] That was a compliment.

Sam: On what planet?

Al: Watch out. You're going to ruin your chances of being voted Miss Congeniality.

<-- end cut ---

Sam: Just tell me what I'm doing here.

-- begin cut -->

Al: Well, we're not sure. Uh, Ziggy's still running the program.

<-- end cut ---

Al: Your name is Darlene Monte and you earned your way into the Miss Deep South pageant by, oh, becoming Miss Sugar Belle.


[Sam and Connie have entered their hotel room and turned on the TV set.

_Leave It to Beaver_ is mostly audible in the background.]

Sam: Connie, you said that winning the pageant would be like a dream come true.

Wally: Well, they make you learn etiquette.

Beaver: What's that?

Sam: What kind of a dream?

-- begin cut -->

Wally: [V.O.] Sort of how to eat right, have manners [unintelligible].

Connie: That kind. [Points at the TV set.]

Beaver: I didn't know they picked on you that much when you were in high school.

Wally: Yeah, they're real strict about that kind of stuff. [Drinks from the milk bottle.]

Sam: [Laughs] You want to be the Beaver?

Connie: No.

<-- end cut ---

Connie: I want to be on television. Or the movies.


[At the very beginning of the second act, the NBC version has about .8 second more in the exterior establishing shot of the hotel.]

 [Just after Al warns Sam that Connie's gone off with Clint to trade sex for the film, the NBC version has about an extra 1 second of Clint nibbling the back of Connie's neck before Al shows up.]

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