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Ziggy 12-30-2008 03:24 PM

Oh! I just heard that joke recently, actually! It's a good one. XD

leaper1 12-30-2008 04:47 PM

More Maths humor
No offense meant to anyone by this.
It was sent to me in an email a couple of years ago, and I found it amusing.
I thought some of you might too...

Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values.
They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, George W. Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
Aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

jassian 12-30-2008 06:13 PM


Originally Posted by leaper1 (Post 47876)
"They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values.


MO 01-03-2009 10:39 PM


Originally Posted by Lightning McQueenie (Post 47848)
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders one quarter of a beer and so on. The bartender responds "dummies" and sat 2 beers on the bar.

I don't get it. :o

ohboy 01-04-2009 12:45 AM

I'm sure that someone will end up correcting me, but I think the joke is this:

Half of one is .5, and half of that is .25. Well, .5 +.25 is .75, and that doesn't equal one. If .25 was divided in half again, and that was .125 (I think), then .75 and .125 would be .875. If we kept cleaving the number in half from .125, and we kept adding it to .875, we would never theoretically reach two, if you kept going out far enough in the decimals to avoid rounding to 1. The joke here is that the mathematicians kept order small amounts of beer, when the bartender knew that they were really going to just get a second beer. Did I explain that well?

Lightning McQueenie 01-04-2009 05:27 AM

Yes, that's pretty much right ohboy :)

But, if instead they'd asked for 1 beer, then 1/2, then 1/3, then 1/4, etc, the bartender would not be able to keep up, because this sum surprisingly tends to infinity :)

jassian 01-04-2009 05:31 AM

It would be easier if you'd get to look at a graph (at least for me, I'm very visual)
and you'd see how it behaves, in the joke you will see that the more orders there are
to closer the total order will come to 2. So if it was possible to get an infinite amount of orders following that rule you'd have exactly 2.

How am I doing for explaning ? :)

ohboy 01-04-2009 12:53 PM

I think you did a good job, Jassian. Between you, I, and Lightning, it should be explained pretty well now.

jassian 01-04-2009 06:39 PM

Ok Ok I admit it, I love explaining! :)
try to stop me! Ha! Try, I say!

ohboy 01-05-2009 12:07 AM

If that's the case, you should star in a play as a teacher or professor. :)

jassian 01-05-2009 03:05 AM

Uhum uhum uhum ... yes, let me babble, I so love babbling I just can't Stoooooooooop ! :help:lol*L*

Maybe I should become a professor....8o:p

ohboy 01-05-2009 12:26 PM

Get me started on politics, and many people that I babble on endlessly. :lol 8o

jassian 01-05-2009 07:36 PM

Ah good, Thanks Ohboy, no I don't feel so alone in babble land :) ;)
How do we turn this back into maths ?

ohboy 01-06-2009 02:43 AM

Well, does anybody else have a math comment, joke, or anything else related to math?

AlyssaCalavicci 01-08-2009 02:28 PM

Ohhhhh Math yikes! I use to be very bad in that area I took algebra I think in the 10th grade and I got an F in that class. LOL OhBoy I wish I knew what Physics was LOL It could be a real challange for me to find something like that on the net and try it but I know I'll fail it :( lol

jassian 01-08-2009 04:41 PM

How did this one go...

You put a mechanic in a locked cell with a closed tin can of food, he hits the thing with something hard until it opens. You put an engineer (like and engineering engineer not an engine engineer) in the room and he sits, thinks, does a few quick caclulations, puts the can against the wall, kicks it a few times and it opens. You put in a physicist. He scribbles on the walls and calculates, calculates, calculates, kicks the can once, it bounces from wall to wall and lands, perfectly open. You put in a mathematician . He ignores the can and scribbles almost all walls full. Eventually, he stops with a satisfied smile and exclaims "the solution converges!" (as in : there exists a solution the this problem)

Alyssa, you missed out on a lot of fun. I blame it on your teacher :)
You can't really fail btw! You'll just have to start at the start.
No failing involved. :D
I mean, if you have an exam you can 'fail ' the exam, but if you study because you want to even looking at it or reading something is a success!:hurray:

ohboy 01-08-2009 05:43 PM

I guess that for me, I did well in math ("B"s to "A"s), but I never could conjure a great deal of interest in it. But I agree with Jassian, Aslyssa, that there needs to be motivation, and teacher should help try to instill that motivation in students (my motivation was to getting a good GPA, not really learning math 8o).

AlyssaCalavicci 01-08-2009 06:15 PM

Motavation might have been the factor with me back then :lol Who know I might not have been into it back then omg that was like 15 years ago 8o I do see your point there if the teacher had motivated me I might would have gotten a B at least not an F :( LOL I so agree with OhBoy those teachers needs to try and make math more fun maybe put some kind of spice into it :lol

Lightning McQueenie 01-11-2009 07:09 AM

Put me in the room with the can... I use my calculator with built-in can-opener to open it...

MO 01-12-2009 11:55 PM


Originally Posted by Lightning McQueenie (Post 48113)
Put me in the room with the can... I use my calculator with built-in can-opener to open it...

MacGyver, is that you?

I, too, am a very visual learner. I guess that's why I did so well in science (hands-on), and so awful in math.

Lightning McQueenie 01-16-2009 11:21 PM

Didn't your maths teacher ever use diagrams?

Graphs? Venn Diagrams? Shapes?

What a member of Al-Gebra he turned out to be ...

jassian 01-16-2009 11:26 PM

What are Venn diagrams again?

ohboy 01-17-2009 02:21 AM

Simply put, Venn diagrams are two or more circles that overlap. Circle A has one list, and circle B has another list. For example, if A= Orange items, and B= Fruits, then the the center circle that is an overlap of the other two would have an Orange, or something like that. Get it?

MO 01-17-2009 03:32 AM

Like this one?

And I honestly don't remember any math teachers of mine using diagrams. I honestly don't remember much about math at all...

ohboy 01-17-2009 12:38 PM


Originally Posted by Chicken Boo (Post 48318)
Like this one?

And I honestly don't remember any math teachers of mine using diagrams. I honestly don't remember much about math at all...

Yes, that is a perfect example. The red circle contains vowels, the yellow circle contains non-vowels, and the middle circle contain a word that can or cannot be used as a vowel.

Don't be fooled, though. I still don't know a lot about math. :lol

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