Old 12-30-2008, 03:24 PM   #51
Ziggy
Control Room Technician
 
Ziggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: England
Posts: 156
Default

Oh! I just heard that joke recently, actually! It's a good one. XD
__________________


"With a million gigabyte capacity I'm quite capable of rubbing my tummy, patting my head and doing a trillion floating point operations at once."
Ziggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-2008, 04:47 PM   #52
leaper1
PQL Security Staff
 
leaper1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Bedford, England
Posts: 2,578
Default More Maths humor

No offense meant to anyone by this.
It was sent to me in an email a couple of years ago, and I found it amusing.
I thought some of you might too...

Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values.
They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, George W. Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
Aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
__________________

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.(Leo Buscaglia) Helen in Bedford
leaper1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-2008, 06:13 PM   #53
jassian
Project Observer
 
jassian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 925
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by leaper1 View Post
"They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values.
__________________
jassian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2009, 10:39 PM   #54
MO
Pulse Communications Technician
 
MO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In a tin can in the countryside
Posts: 310
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lightning McQueenie View Post
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders one quarter of a beer and so on. The bartender responds "dummies" and sat 2 beers on the bar.
I don't get it.
__________________
"What's left after you go is the good you've left behind."
-- Robert Zubrin, American aerospace engineer
MO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2009, 12:45 AM   #55
ohboy
Junior Leaper
 
ohboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,383
Default

I'm sure that someone will end up correcting me, but I think the joke is this:

Half of one is .5, and half of that is .25. Well, .5 +.25 is .75, and that doesn't equal one. If .25 was divided in half again, and that was .125 (I think), then .75 and .125 would be .875. If we kept cleaving the number in half from .125, and we kept adding it to .875, we would never theoretically reach two, if you kept going out far enough in the decimals to avoid rounding to 1. The joke here is that the mathematicians kept order small amounts of beer, when the bartender knew that they were really going to just get a second beer. Did I explain that well?
__________________
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Dr. Wily is a registered trademark of Capcom, and I don't own the rights to it in anyway, nor do I profit from the avatar.
ohboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2009, 05:27 AM   #56
Lightning McQueenie
Junior Leaper
 
Lightning McQueenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,043
Default

Yes, that's pretty much right ohboy


But, if instead they'd asked for 1 beer, then 1/2, then 1/3, then 1/4, etc, the bartender would not be able to keep up, because this sum surprisingly tends to infinity
__________________
Lightning McQueenie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2009, 05:31 AM   #57
jassian
Project Observer
 
jassian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 925
Default

It would be easier if you'd get to look at a graph (at least for me, I'm very visual)
and you'd see how it behaves, in the joke you will see that the more orders there are
to closer the total order will come to 2. So if it was possible to get an infinite amount of orders following that rule you'd have exactly 2.

How am I doing for explaning ?
__________________
jassian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2009, 12:53 PM   #58
ohboy
Junior Leaper
 
ohboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,383
Default

I think you did a good job, Jassian. Between you, I, and Lightning, it should be explained pretty well now.
__________________
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Dr. Wily is a registered trademark of Capcom, and I don't own the rights to it in anyway, nor do I profit from the avatar.
ohboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2009, 06:39 PM   #59
jassian
Project Observer
 
jassian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 925
Default

Ok Ok I admit it, I love explaining!
try to stop me! Ha! Try, I say!
__________________
jassian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2009, 12:07 AM   #60
ohboy
Junior Leaper
 
ohboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,383
Default

If that's the case, you should star in a play as a teacher or professor.
__________________
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Dr. Wily is a registered trademark of Capcom, and I don't own the rights to it in anyway, nor do I profit from the avatar.
ohboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2009, 03:05 AM   #61
jassian
Project Observer
 
jassian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 925
Default

Uhum uhum uhum ... yes, let me babble, I so love babbling I just can't Stoooooooooop ! *L*

Maybe I should become a professor....
__________________
jassian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2009, 12:26 PM   #62
ohboy
Junior Leaper
 
ohboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,383
Default

Get me started on politics, and many people that I babble on endlessly.
__________________
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Dr. Wily is a registered trademark of Capcom, and I don't own the rights to it in anyway, nor do I profit from the avatar.
ohboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2009, 07:36 PM   #63
jassian
Project Observer
 
jassian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 925
Default

Ah good, Thanks Ohboy, no I don't feel so alone in babble land
How do we turn this back into maths ?
__________________
jassian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2009, 02:43 AM   #64
ohboy
Junior Leaper
 
ohboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,383
Default

Well, does anybody else have a math comment, joke, or anything else related to math?
__________________
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Dr. Wily is a registered trademark of Capcom, and I don't own the rights to it in anyway, nor do I profit from the avatar.
ohboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2009, 02:28 PM   #65
AlyssaCalavicci
Imaging Chamber Technician
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 63
Default

Ohhhhh Math yikes! I use to be very bad in that area I took algebra I think in the 10th grade and I got an F in that class. LOL OhBoy I wish I knew what Physics was LOL It could be a real challange for me to find something like that on the net and try it but I know I'll fail it lol
__________________
AlyssaCalavicci is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2009, 04:41 PM   #66
jassian
Project Observer
 
jassian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 925
Default

Hmm.
How did this one go...

You put a mechanic in a locked cell with a closed tin can of food, he hits the thing with something hard until it opens. You put an engineer (like and engineering engineer not an engine engineer) in the room and he sits, thinks, does a few quick caclulations, puts the can against the wall, kicks it a few times and it opens. You put in a physicist. He scribbles on the walls and calculates, calculates, calculates, kicks the can once, it bounces from wall to wall and lands, perfectly open. You put in a mathematician . He ignores the can and scribbles almost all walls full. Eventually, he stops with a satisfied smile and exclaims "the solution converges!" (as in : there exists a solution the this problem)

Alyssa, you missed out on a lot of fun. I blame it on your teacher
You can't really fail btw! You'll just have to start at the start.
No failing involved.
I mean, if you have an exam you can 'fail ' the exam, but if you study because you want to even looking at it or reading something is a success!
__________________
jassian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2009, 05:43 PM   #67
ohboy
Junior Leaper
 
ohboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,383
Default

I guess that for me, I did well in math ("B"s to "A"s), but I never could conjure a great deal of interest in it. But I agree with Jassian, Aslyssa, that there needs to be motivation, and teacher should help try to instill that motivation in students (my motivation was to getting a good GPA, not really learning math ).
__________________
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Dr. Wily is a registered trademark of Capcom, and I don't own the rights to it in anyway, nor do I profit from the avatar.
ohboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2009, 06:15 PM   #68
AlyssaCalavicci
Imaging Chamber Technician
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 63
Default

Motavation might have been the factor with me back then Who know I might not have been into it back then omg that was like 15 years ago I do see your point there if the teacher had motivated me I might would have gotten a B at least not an F LOL I so agree with OhBoy those teachers needs to try and make math more fun maybe put some kind of spice into it
__________________
AlyssaCalavicci is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2009, 07:09 AM   #69
Lightning McQueenie
Junior Leaper
 
Lightning McQueenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,043
Default

Put me in the room with the can... I use my calculator with built-in can-opener to open it...
__________________
Lightning McQueenie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2009, 11:55 PM   #70
MO
Pulse Communications Technician
 
MO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In a tin can in the countryside
Posts: 310
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lightning McQueenie View Post
Put me in the room with the can... I use my calculator with built-in can-opener to open it...
MacGyver, is that you?


I, too, am a very visual learner. I guess that's why I did so well in science (hands-on), and so awful in math.
__________________
"What's left after you go is the good you've left behind."
-- Robert Zubrin, American aerospace engineer
MO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2009, 11:21 PM   #71
Lightning McQueenie
Junior Leaper
 
Lightning McQueenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,043
Default

Didn't your maths teacher ever use diagrams?

Graphs? Venn Diagrams? Shapes?


What a member of Al-Gebra he turned out to be ...
__________________
Lightning McQueenie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2009, 11:26 PM   #72
jassian
Project Observer
 
jassian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 925
Default

What are Venn diagrams again?
__________________
jassian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2009, 02:21 AM   #73
ohboy
Junior Leaper
 
ohboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,383
Default

Simply put, Venn diagrams are two or more circles that overlap. Circle A has one list, and circle B has another list. For example, if A= Orange items, and B= Fruits, then the the center circle that is an overlap of the other two would have an Orange, or something like that. Get it?
__________________
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Dr. Wily is a registered trademark of Capcom, and I don't own the rights to it in anyway, nor do I profit from the avatar.
ohboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2009, 03:32 AM   #74
MO
Pulse Communications Technician
 
MO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In a tin can in the countryside
Posts: 310
Default

Like this one?



And I honestly don't remember any math teachers of mine using diagrams. I honestly don't remember much about math at all...
__________________
"What's left after you go is the good you've left behind."
-- Robert Zubrin, American aerospace engineer
MO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2009, 12:38 PM   #75
ohboy
Junior Leaper
 
ohboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,383
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicken Boo View Post
Like this one?



And I honestly don't remember any math teachers of mine using diagrams. I honestly don't remember much about math at all...
Yes, that is a perfect example. The red circle contains vowels, the yellow circle contains non-vowels, and the middle circle contain a word that can or cannot be used as a vowel.

Don't be fooled, though. I still don't know a lot about math.
__________________
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Dr. Wily is a registered trademark of Capcom, and I don't own the rights to it in anyway, nor do I profit from the avatar.
ohboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:34 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2000 - 2016 Al's Place Quantum Leap Fan Site | 4.8.15.16.23.42