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Guestvision By: Eleiece <aka> Sherdran

"...of Calla Lilies, Cranberry Sauce, And Carpe Diem"

    Ours is a frenetically-paced society. When the alarm clock
goes off in the morning most of us hit the floor running...

"Hurry!" .... "No time for breakfast. Just coffee...I'll grab something
later." ... "Won't this thing go any faster?" ... "Move, move, move!"...
"Get out of my way, I'm in a hurry!" ...."C'mon! Time's wasting, and
time is money!"

....rarely slowing down until we at last drop into bed, exhausted, long
after the sun has set. We fall asleep, hoping for a few hours of undisturbed
slumber before the alarm goes off again and we jump out of bed and onto the
runaway roller coaster of another day. Day in, day out, month in, month out,
year in, year out...we jump up, run as fast and hard as we can all day, then
fall exhausted and then there goes the alarm again...


    What's all that got to do with Quantum Leap, you're asking? To some
this may sound corny and so old-fashioned it creaks like grandma's rocking
chair on the front porch. But there are a special handful of the 95 episodes
of Quantum Leap, that subtly and some not so subtly, remind us to not take
life, and more importantly, people, especially the people we love, for granted.


    ...of Calla lilies... In "Future Boy" Moe Stein was, "An actor in search of
a bad review." He loved his wife and daughter, but his gift and talent for
acting lured him onto the roller coaster. At first he loved it, reveling
in all it brought him. After a while though, he began to realize what it
was costing him - separation from his wife and daughter. He needed... he
wanted to go back and be a part of their lives, but he couldn't quite bring
himself to just walk away from it, so he added a qualifier to the equation:
When he started getting bad reviews, acting would turn its back on him and
he could go back to the people he loved most. But life hadn't stopped for
his wife and daughter while he was in search of a bad review. No, it kept
on going, and his wife died while he was away. Life kept on going for his
daughter, who needed him when her mother died but he wasn't there. All of
Moe's best intentions - to find that bad review so he wouldn't have to chose
between what he was so good at and the people he loved - crashed around him. He was too late. Too late to tell his wife how much he loved her and give her that last bouquet of Calla lilies. Too late to be a part of his little
girl's life. And, like we all do at one time or another, Moe wished for,
and he even tried to find, a way to turn back time. Moe got a chance to,
maybe not to go back and prevent his wife's death, but thanks to Sam's
intervention, he and his daughter at least got the chance to get to know each,
really know each other, before it was too late.

    ...of cranberries... In "The Leap Home", when Sam realized when and where he was, he told Al he thought he was being rewarded, and you'd have thought he had been handed the sun, moon and stars on a platter. Now what I'm about to say, some may think I've lost it, but before you tar and feather me and ride me out of town on a rail, take a step back and think about it. At that point I think Sam lost his initial gratitude of the one-of-it's-kind reward
he had received -being able to be with his family, all of them, at a very
special time of year, and the last time they were all together. Gratitude faded,
and Sam Beckett got greedy, but not just greedy; Sam was arrogant about it
as well. And when he wasn't able to do what he wanted to do for those he
loved as he thought he ought to be able to do, our Sam threw his own version
of a temper tantrum. Like a child who forgot about what he had been given, Sam focused on the things he couldn't have, and he ran away (albeit only into the cornfield to be alone), and declared, "It's not fair" ...and then...."I quit!"
and he ran away again.

    Remember what Al's response was? .... "Well, I think it's damned fair.
   .... I'd give anything to be able to talk to my father and my sister again. Laugh with them. Tell them how much I love them. I'd give anything to have what you have, Sam. Anything."

    Not until Al forced him to look at the situation from another perspective,
was Sam able to finally see the treasure that he been given. Only then was
Sam able to make the most of the time he had been given with those he loved. But that was all make believe. In real life, we never get the chance to
'go back and do it right' or say the things that we wish that we had said
when we had the chance.

    "I just want to go home." Six words. We've all said them, sometimes
when we're afraid, sometimes when we need comfort, but most often when we're tired, weary right down to the marrow of our bones, and we don't want to be where we are or do what we're doing any more. Many times though, that's all we can do - say those six words and keep on going.

    He said them. I heard him ...still hear him... say those words and my
heart aches as much now as it did when I heard those words first fall from his
lips, wishing with all my heart that I could give him what he longed for.
But I couldn't. All I could do was agree with him then watch him have to
continue doing what he was doing, and knowing that I couldn't do what I wanted to do for him. Nobody could do it but him.

    Who? Sam Beckett? I can hear some saying, "But Sam said, "I'm just
trying to get home," not 'I just want to go home'. And it wasn't in "The Leap
Home" that he said it; it was in 'that' episode that he said it."

    But no, I'm not talking about Sam Beckett; not this time. No, as
I write this, my thoughts and memories are with someone more precious to me than Sam Beckett could ever be. I've been sorting through some of the wonderful memories of nearly seventeen years with my husband. Memories of getting up in the wee hours of a Saturday morning to go fishing with him (and enjoying myself, may I add); camping on the beach and wading out into the surf at dawn to fish with him, laughing with him, going for a walk on the nature trail near our home in the winter, and there countless other wonderful memories. I was remembering being in that room in CCU last Thanksgiving evening, and looking into Jay's eyes as he looked up at me and said, "I just want to go home." Remembering those first moments after my beloved husband died, standing in that hospital room, grieving for the loss of my soul mate (and he was) when one of the nurses put her arms around me and asked if there was anything she could do for me. My sobbed reply was, "Turn back time." Which leads to the point of all this...

    ...carpe diem... Seize the day. Don't wait to find yourself in a
situation like Moe Stein, or even a (momentarily) selfish Sam Beckett. No
matter how great things are going in life for you, how perfect things seem
to be, don't take them for granted, not even for a moment. Let those you
love know it...NOW. Tell them you love them...NOW. Spend time with them
...NOW. And make memories so that when the times come (and they come to all of us), you can look back and treasure your memories, instead of sprinkling them with the bitter tears of, "If only..." or "I wish.." Seize the moment because you don't know what tomorrow or even the next moment has in store for you. Slow down and enjoy life and those you love...NOW. Don't wait to spend time with your family and friends. Don't think, "I'll tell them later, or tomorrow." Don't wait until 'later' because 'later' may never get here. Do it NOW. Don't ever let the words "If I could turn back time" be anything more than the words in a song.