From: Philippa Chapman (Glastonbury, Somerset, UK.) Date: Sun 16 Feb 1997 18:00 +0000 Subject: About Time?, Part 3/3 'It is dangerous to meddle with Admirals when they say they can't do things.' Winston Churchill. 'Time is the longest distance between two places.' Raymond Williams. Al shrugged to himself as he left the Imaging Chamber. The door to the past swung shut behind him. The console room was empty for once. "Oh, well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained." "I DON'T WISH TO SPEAK TO YOU." Al smiled disarmingly. "Not even if I say sorry and we kiss and make up?" Al moved over to Ziggy's multi-coloured glowing console before his nerve went,"Now, where might a hybrid computer like to be kissed? Which coloured block is best?......Here? Or maybe here?" Al kissed Ziggy twice. "Al! You'll make me jealous!" Al shot upright guiltily as Tina spoke. He smiled with the full force of Calavicci charm. "No problemo, gorgeous. *You* kiss back." Tina sashayed up to Al in one of her - and his - favourite skin tight mini dresses. This one was black, barely covering her bottom and plunged dramatically at the front and back. She put her arms around Al's neck and pouted. "I've been so *lonely* without you, darling." Al realised that he was going to be lucky if they managed to reach the bed in the back of his office. He kissed Tina hungrily. "Tina, bellisima, you know you drive me crazy when you come in here acting like a naughty schoolgirl." Tina grinned conspiratorially. "And naughty schoolgirls need to be kept behind after class and taught how to be very, very good." Al steered Tina toward his office. "I believe you're going to have to stay in my office for an all night lesson, Ms O'Farrell," Al pulled the door closed and locked it securely,"Ziggy, please don't disturb me until at least 10 o'clock tomorrow unless Sam's in danger." "VERY WELL. I FORGIVE YOU. SHALL I DOWNLOAD THE EROTICA THAT JAMES MENTIONED TO YOUR CURRENT LOCATION?" Al grinned. "Yes, okay. But I have a feeling that I won't need to access it tonight." 'So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.' Albert H. Fitz Sam woke up early the next morning feeling refreshed. He got out of bed, took a long shower, then finished Christopher's packing. He pulled on Christopher's underpants, pants and laced up the stout boots, then pulled on the T-shirt and sweat shirt before carrying everything down to the entrance lobby. Breakfast was cornflakes, juice, bacon and eggs with toast and marmalade to follow. Sam was used to large breakfasts from his childhood on the farm and tucked in gratefully. Karen pressed a string bag of oranges on him as he joined the other occupants of the camper van. The journey north across rural Somerset was punctuated by small talk from Stella and Father Riley. Tony was concentrating on driving, especially as they neared the village of Pilton. Crowds of Travellers, on foot and in vehicles were all making for the same location. The camper van slowed to a crawl as all the paperwork was checked and re-checked, then they moved up through several gates and into the festival compound. A marshall guided them to their correct location and Sam helped erect what James had described as the Coracle. It consisted of several long curved poles, lashed together, which were interlaced with other poles before two great waterproof tarpaulins were fastened over the top. Inside, the structure was reasonably high at the centre, then curved down to the ground on three sides. The fourth side was opened up in a semi-circular arch towards the healing field. Sam thought, Al didn't show up until Sam had finished helping to unpack and set up. Sam's eyebrow's raised at the sight of Al wearing the suit he had on before, instead today it was looking rather crumpled and Al looked tired. "What's wrong, Al?" Al managed to keep his voice level as he explained. "Oh...I...I just didn't get much sleep last night. I was...in my office." "More paperwork?" Al's lips twitched into a smile as he looked away. The smile broadened, once Sam couldn't see, into one of lazy satisfaction. "Paperwork isn't *quite* how I'd describe it. Anyway, I'm here now. I see you've put up the Coracle." Al visibly waited for Sam to ask the question. "Okay, Al. *What* is a Coracle?" "According to Ziggy, it's a small boat used by early peoples to get from place to place. The early Celtic missionaries used to set out in them and see where God took them, then preach the good news. The real ones are coated with pitch on the outside, like Moses in the bulrushes. They still make them and use them in parts of Wales. When it's upside down like this, it's usually called a Bender. Quite a lot of the people here this coming weekend live in them, some all year round." "Like the Native Americans and their wigwams?" "Those that live that way, yes. Very similar. Next door you've got some Buddhist nuns arriving soon, there's a Hindu shrine and you can probably find most of the major religions around this open space." Sam looked around and pointed to the tree in the centre of the large circle. "Those are dream catchers, aren't they?" Al looked surprised. "Yeah. They apparently act as a filter and let only good dreams through. You'll probably see some folk sleeping next to the tree in an effort to catch a really good dream. If it really works and you were under that tree when you Leaped...." Sam looked at Al intently. "Are you trying to tell me that it might be the way home?" Al shrugged. "We've tried wackier things before now to attempt a retrieval. Can't hurt to try...but not until tonight. Ziggy says that now Christopher has to meet someone, after lunch. I should go for a stroll and do some talking with people. The Reverends are having a rest, so you're free." Sam nodded and spotted a small group in the middle of an earnest discussion near the tree. He went over and they let him join them. ".....and if you haven't tried Astral travelling, you simply haven't *lived.*" This from a very earnest man with a brown goatee beard and wide hazel eyes. Sam decided to use his ears until he could get a handle on what they were saying. He looked at the other two, a younger man with fair curls and blue eyes and woman who was sitting with her arm linked through his in easy companionship who had dark plaits and grey eyes. "But, as I was saying before, if this whole universe is illusion or a giant holographic projection, then Astral Travelling is only one of many equally interesting but unreal states." "Maybe the Astral plane *is* the true reality, but we just don't know it yet." "Maybe it's Heaven or Nirvana." This came from the young woman, who had a rather dreamlike expression on her face. "Uh-oh, Sam. Some of your new friends have been smoking pot. Watch yourself and take everything they say with a pinch of salt." The goatee beard turned to Sam. "Have you ever tried Astral projection?" Sam foundered for a moment, then realised that this was close to something he knew only too well. "I don't *think* so. But I have travelled in time." That should start an interesting debate. "Careful, Sam. Not too many secrets, now. On the other hand, these guys are half stoned. Maybe they'll regard you as just another harmless lunatic like them." Sam glared at Al. Three pairs of eyes followed his gaze. The goatee beard smiled. "Hey, grandpa, you can join us too. We don't mind. I bet you remember the Sixties, too!" Sam had to cough violently to stop himself laughing. "What did I tell you? Children, animals and...." He tapped the side of his head significantly and looked at the man next to him,"I wish, just for once, that I could be seen by a voluptuous sexy woman." "No problem, friend. Hey, Rita, come over here." Al nearly boggled when he saw her and Sam had been forced to hold his hand over his mouth because he was laughing so hard. Rita was maybe two inches shorter than Al, about thirty-five or so. Al took in the long, black curls, the dusky skin and the blouse she was half-wearing over her stunning cleavage and swallowed hard. Her hips swung provocatively as she sat down next to Al. He looked into her midnight blue eyes and smiled seductively. Rita smiled back and tried to put her hand on his thigh. "You're a golem, aren't you? I am true Romany, I know these things. You don't really belong here, nor does your friend. I saw you in my cup this morning; a handsome man with dark brown hair and eyes and a great fire in his soul." "I...I'm not sure what a golem is, Rita. I'm a hologram of a real man from the future." The other members of the circle made appreciative noises. Sam grinned as he watched Al clearly wanting to touch Rita, but not being able to do so. "Anyway, Al, this is Astra and her partner Rama. This other man is called Sky. Your friend was talking about travelling in time," she looked at Sam,"There are two of you - one that I have seen on the road - and another. Which name shall we call you?" Sam swallowed slowly and decided on the truth. "My name is Sam, but I'm ....borrowing the aura of Christopher Walker for a while." "Let me see your hand, Sam." Sam hesitantly extended his hand. Rita looked it closely for several minutes. "Yes. I see Christopher's future; he will not be alone for much longer. You, Sam, have a great mind and a long life ahead of you. One day soon you will stop being on the drom. Like Al, you are one of the world's great lovers." Sam started to blush and Al just stared. A slow smile spread across his face. "Who's been talking?!" Rita shook her head slowly. "No-one, Al. It is just there in your eyes....and I would expect to see the same in your hand," Al presented his palm eagerly,"Yes. No doubt about it. You have Italian and gypsy blood running in your veins. But we must get back to the subject of time travel. That is why you are both here." Everyone turned their attention back to Sam, who was still trying to get over his embarrassment. He cleared his throat. "I...What do you think of travelling in time?" He looked at Sky first, because he seemed to be the most articulate. Sky stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I have heard of adepts who were able to use Astral travel to go back and view the past, even re-visit their past lives. I never thought much of the time machine idea - I much prefer your way of borrowing auras. It makes you anonymous to everyone without spiritual sight like Rita here. That's neat." Rama asked the next question. "But what do you and Al *do* in the past? Just hang out and talk?" Sam shook his head. "It seems that I've been sent back to put right things that went wrong in my own timeline. Usually they're small things on a world-wide scale - saving one life, or a marriage, or someone's job. I seem to be here to talk with you guys at the moment." Aster smiled. "That's awesome. Pilton's a good space to be in. Have you been to Glastonbury yet?" Sam frowned. An image that was strange to him surfaced. A hill-top covered in grass, Al and a tall striking woman with blue eyes and shoulder-length brown hair looking at him with warmth and affection. A second older woman, with fiery red hair and generous curves in Al's arms, kissing him with passion and love. Remembrances of long, incredibly sweet kisses that *he'd* shared with the first woman.....but none of it was real; it was like a dream of might-have-been. "I...er...I don't think so." Rita smiled. "In one timeline, you did. The images you saw were as real for *that* Sam as this place is for you, now. *He* found the love of his life with someone else. Somewhere there is at least one Sam who is home and happy. Equally, there are other Sams who are still lost." "Pardon me?" Sam tried to follow Rita's train of thought. "Every significant decision you make leads to all possible outcomes. The parallel universe theory. There are several Sam Becketts *and* Al Calaviccis, maybe even hundreds. In some you never leaped, in others, there is no-one waiting for you, in others you have a wife or a partner. You may have several children or none. Al realises this more than most. Don't you know that his relationship with Tina shifts when you change something significant? Sometimes he finds that it's not even Tina waiting in his bed." Al actually blushed. "Good grief, *more* women? Don't tell me that you took advantage of this arrangement..... Oh, boy, I can see that you *did*." Al grinned at Sam's discomfort. "Hey, it wasn't *that* bad. Most times it was one of my ex-wives or an old girl-friend. Though on the occasions that it's been someone new...... Well, thank-you, Sam. You've always provided me with gorgeous passionate women. Once it was even 'Beena. When I got over the shock and surprise, we were *incredible* together. I've never quite had the courage to pursue it since. I was married to her at the time, for all of three days. And if you can fix it for me to kiss beautiful Rita here one day, I shall be eternally grateful. Anyway, where does all this multi-verse stuff leave us *now*?" Al's mind skipped to a scenario he dreaded. Rama smiled at Al's reminiscences. The sunlight caught in his blond hair and blue eyes as he turned back to Sam. "I like this idea. Maybe somewhere there's another me who settled down to a steady job just like his parents wished and is married with a family. Aster and I are married as far as we're concerned, but my parents probably wouldn't accept the ceremony we used. As for children: we'd rather do our bit to help those children in the world who are starving. We can help several children for the price of one of our own." Aster nodded and gazed lovingly at Rama. "It must be hard though, giving up a family for the sake of your beliefs." Sky turned to Sam. "If you're travelling in time, then you must have left wherever *you* call home for the sake of *your* beliefs. You might have a wife or lover and children back at home waiting for you." Sam shook his head. "Not when I left, no. Al was the nearest to family I had. Since then, I tried to alter the past of the one woman that I really loved so that she would marry me, but I can't remember if it worked. Al can't or won't tell me, so I go on, still hoping that I'll get a happy ending one day." Al looked at Sam sympathetically. "You made the rules, Sam. No information on your personal history incase you did something that might change it for the worse. Anyone waiting at home would want their identity preserved too. You couldn't act as a free agent if you knew for certain that you had responsibilities." Sam shook his head. "It's the thought of being unintentionally unfaithful that worries me. I'd always hoped that there'd be one woman, for life. I believe in the spiritual and physical bond between two people completely committed to one another *and* in fidelity. I know I haven't lived up to that. My Swiss Cheesed brain may forget a lot of things, but right now it remembers three other women that I made love with since I've been leaping." Al shrugged. "Don't be so hard on yourself. I'd had that many by the end of my sixteenth birthday party!" Rita gently leaned over and touched Sam's hand. "Did you intend love with those women, Sam?" Sam nodded. "Yes, absolutely. When I was with them, there was no-one else I would rather have been with. As far as I can say such a thing, I was in love with them. If I could have stayed, it would have been for a lifetime." Rita smiled softly. "Then your conscience should be clear, Sam. Your intentions were honourable. Do you know the story of Krishna? He had many lovers, but only one true love of his life. The stories are intended to reflect the intimacy of contact between the Divine and humankind." Al's eyebrows rose. "This is getting *weird*. I just can't get this stuff. God and sex in the same breath again!" Sky stroked his beard for the umpteenth time. "Krishna is an avatar, a redemptive figure. He came into the world at the right time to advance religious thought - you could say give it a leap forward. After him there have been others, of course. Rama, Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, the Ba'ab. An equal number have been female, it's not a masculine-only club. That which I call divine is beyond male and female in any case. I believe we all have a spark of the divine inside us, it's just that not everyone has realised it yet. We are *all* potential avatars. Sam, perhaps you are more than most, but you just haven't realised it yet." Sam boggled. "I'm not worthy....I can't be God! I've made so many mistakes and I couldn't save my own family, my father...." Rita smiled with warmth and deep sympathy. "It's often those who are closest to us that are the most difficult to communicate with. Perhaps another Leaper will accomplish what you could not do one day. Your family could not listen to you simply because they *are* your family. Even Jesus had problems with his mother and siblings until they understood who he was. Also, everyone has free will. If somebody is set resolutely on a course of action, then they find change difficult." "I just wanted the best for them, to give them a better life..." "I know. So does God, but he uses the pain, transforming and transfiguring it. Look at all those who have a physical or mental handicap. You can't change *their* lives much. But some of the most radiant people I know shine through a damaged body or mind." Sam smiled warmly, remembering. "Yes. I can agree with that. I learnt so much when I was in their shoes." Aster smiled at Rama. "I think I can handle being part of the divine being - it's as if the Universe is working itself out through even me. That's very humbling and challenging." Rama nodded. "Yes, you are *my* Gaia," he said, looking at Aster. Sam nodded, slowly. "So maybe what I'm doing is part of the plan. I like the idea that there are other Sams out there who got it right and made it home. I hope that we can all get home one day." "You will, Sam, even if it's the final Home; the consummation of all things." "I hope it doesn't take *that* long. I owe Al a monumental hug and my gratitude for being there and helping me all this time." "Aww, Sam. It goes with the job description." At that moment Father Riley came over and interrupted Sam for lunch. As Sam made his excuses and left, he saw Al following Rita back to her gypsy caravan. Al turned, grinned eagerly, then waved before trailing in the wake of her undulating hips. Sam shook his head and went back to the Coracle. Tony Draper leaned over towards Sam during lunch, his broad clean-shaven face kind and amused. "So what were you and your new friends discussing, Chris?" Sam blinked. He had got used to having his own name for a while. "Oh.....God, Time, love, avatars....stuff like that." Tony smiled. "That's a lot for one morning! I know Sky, he came down to the Community once. He's got some interesting theories based on the idea that this reality around us is merely a hologram of the True Reality. I *think* the idea is similar to the one put forward by C.S. Lewis, when he described the difference between Narnia and the Real Narnia, where everything looked as if it meant more. It doesn't bother me really if it's true; maybe heaven or paradise *will* start out to our limited sight as an idealised version of this Earth. Those who have come back from near death experiences talk of a garden of light and angels and, sometimes, Jesus or other significant figures. Maybe God communicates himself in terms we understand at first. It's going to be quite exciting finding out." Sam said nothing as his mind explored the new ideas. 'But the canons of time have never been in love...' Heinrich Heine Sam sat under the dream tree after lunch in the warm June sunshine, almost half dozing. His stomach was comfortably full and the afternoon heat was making him sleepy. Stella sat at the entrance of the Coracle with Tony, while Father Riley went for a stroll to the Churches' large tent on the other side of the valley to greet other Christians and anyone else who he happened to meet on the way. Sam heard a soft jingling of bells and someone sat down near him in the shade of the Coracle. "Chris? Chris Walker?" Sam opened his eyes and found himself gazing into a pair of almost midnight blue eyes fringed with long brown lashes. He blinked, then took in an attractive pale brown face, sun-bleached light brown hair and a soft, warm smile. A pair of tiny bells attached to her purple dress provided the soft jingling that he had heard. Sam smiled back. "Er...." The lady blushed slightly and fine wrinkles appeared around her eyes as her smile widened. "Well, it has been over twenty years and you didn't have that beard in school, but I recognised you." Sam suddenly knew who she was. This was why he'd had to save Chris' life. "Pamela!" She smiled delightedly and Sam knew he'd hit gold. His hands met her outstretched ones. A tingle ran up his arms. "I remember being with you in school. You were the first woman I ever kissed." Pamela nodded slowly. "Yes, I know. You were my first, too. We were terribly young, weren't we? What happened to you afterwards?" Sam dredged up what Al had told him. "Oh....University, several jobs, then I became a Traveller. I'm at Tony Draper's community at the moment." Pamela nodded, then hesitated. "I heard about Bob. It was such a tragedy. I'm sorry, Chris." Sam nodded. "It's okay now. I think I'm getting over it." "He was confused, even at school. He kissed me too, but even then there was something adrift in him. I wasn't surprised when I heard that his marriage had broken up. I don't think he could handle relationships with women. It took me some time before I tried again, but I never really found what I'd hoped for. That's why I never married either. I couldn't find that mixture of friendship *and* romance....." Sam could see the ending even as he spoke. It was so plain. "Neither could I, Pamela. I kept measuring every woman against you and they fell short. I've been on my own for twenty years." Dark blue eyes looked into his with a mixture of fear and wild hope. "Is it that simple? Was it you all the time?" Sam gently ran his fingers through a lock of Pamela's hair. A glorious smile transfigured her face as she moved closer, "I've missed you, Chris." Sam pulled her into his arms for a hug, then began tracing tiny kisses towards her mouth. "Pamela...." he whispered, hoping to Leap out for Chris' sake. But Pamela stayed warm and real in his arms. Sam's lips brushed Pamela's and she gasped softly. He took his time, planting tiny kisses across her top and lower lip. When her lips returned the favour, he sighed with pleasure. Finally he couldn't wait any longer and covered her mouth with his own. Pamela moaned softly with a mixture of pleasure and fulfilment as their mouths moved together with slow sensual caresses. After what seemed like half an hour, Sam pulled away softly. Pamela smiled at him, her eyes wide and dark with joy and wonder. "It *is* that simple. I've never forgotten how wonderful your kisses were. Where do we go from here?" Sam smiled contentedly. "Well, I don't think I'm going to be a monk after all!" He held Pamela's face in his hands. Pamela chuckled softly and warmly. "I should hope not! We've got over twenty years catching up to do." Sam couldn't resist. The memory of the single exquisite kiss was too strong. "Mmmm, that includes twenty years' worth of kisses." He captured her lips again, starting gently like before, but soon deepening the kiss into a promise of a lifetime that he knew Chris would keep. Finally, as the kiss became more passionate, the Leap took Sam away. Somewhere there was singing. A woman's voice, sweet and unaccompanied. "Will you come and follow me if I but call your name? Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same? Will you let my love be shone, will you let my name be known? Will you let my love be grown in you and you in me?" Sam smiled and stretched, feeling a bed underneath him. He raised his head from the pillow as the female singer came in through the door. She walked over and felt his pulse. Sam looked up into dark chocolate eyes set in a beautiful pale face, surrounded by a cloud of fragrant dark brown hair. his mind trembled incoherently, "How are you feeling?" Her voice was low and musical. "I...er...okay, I guess." She smiled reassuringly and the sun came out. "You'll be just fine. You're safe, nothing's going to hurt you. Do you remember your name?" Sam smiled. It wouldn't hurt, at least until Al showed up. He could always plead amnesia; this place felt like a hospital. "Sam....Sam Beckett. And you are *incredibly* beautiful." Sam reached up and kissed her before he lost his nerve. For a moment she pulled away, then she murmured his name next to his lips and began kissing him back with such eagerness that he almost swooned with delight. Suddenly she pulled away and began smoothing down her white doctor's coat. "I'm sorry. That shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't really be here...everyone's gone to see in the New Year. I hadn't really got anyone to go with." "I'd go with you. I can't understand why a woman as beautiful as you should be alone tonight." She looked away with pain on her face. "It's a long story.....but nothing that should concern you." Sam laid his hand over hers on the covers. She looked back with puzzlement and something else that was so subtle, Sam barely caught it. "I *know* you. And you know me...." Then the revelation hit like a thunderbolt,"We were lovers; I've kissed you before. You are the love of my life." Tears filled her dark expressive eyes. "Don't, please...." The holes in Sam's memory filled suddenly with blinding revelation, joy and deep, loving desire. "My darling, my only true love....*Donna*. It's really *me*. I'm *home*." Her eyes widened, then she gasped and flung her arms around him. Sam kissed her hair, the tears rolling down both their faces. He kissed her throat and finally back to her mouth again. He kissed her over and over, surrendering with joy to the aching sweetness of her lips until his long pent-up desire took over. He tried to go slowly, but she let him know fairly early on that her need was as great as his. They made love with almost frenzied passion, then a second time, taking it slowly, re-learning each other's bodies tenderly. "So what year *is* it, anyway, darling?" Sam asked as they lay closely wrapped together in the after-glow. Donna smiled and stroked his face. "It's still 2000 at the moment. You made it back in time to see in the new century and the Millennium." "I'm glad. I can't think of a sweeter, more glorious home-coming. The next time we make love, it'll be next year," Sam smiled softly against Donna's hair,"Although, if you keep stroking my leg like that..." A chime rang out from somewhere overhead. "HAPPY NEW YEAR, FATHER. I AM GLAD YOU MADE IT HOME AT LAST." Donna smiled joyfully. "Happy new year, darling. Now what was that about celebrating the New Year?" Sam held her close. "I'm not going away again. This is where I stay. Always, Donna. I need to see Al, too...and everyone else. And, Ziggy....destroy all records of the last hour and keep your visual and auditory monitors off in this room. This is intensely private." "I think they can wait until after the holiday, don't you? Al's rather busy.....I think he was hoping to celebrate the New Year just like this, too." Sam chuckled. "Tina, I suppose? Or is it Beth? I don't remember how the timelines worked out." Donna shook her head gently. "He was married to Beth until last year, then, when she died, Tina consoled him. They were pretty hot for a while until she ran off and married Davidson, the security guard. Al's been alone until recently. On his last visit to Taos, he met this incredibly wise and attractive gypsy." Sam smiled. "Rita?" Donna laughed. "Yes, of course. She was there on your last Leap. She's been keeping him at arms' length for a while, but she told me in confidence that he was going to be her dream lover - and she his. Last night she finally kissed him and they went off together. You're going to have to wait a while to see him!" Sam pulled Donna as close as he could. "I owe him so much, and you too, darling. You're my home, Donna." "I know, Sam. And you're mine, my love." "I love you. Now where had we got to in celebrating the New Year....?" OR; if you prefer - in another timeline: Sam carried on Leaping from life to life. There were no commitments calling him home, so he enjoyed his task of helping put things right, snatching moments of happiness where he could. Sometimes he wished that he could touch Al, then his wish came true. Al leaped after Sam to save his life and the two men carried on Leaping together for a while, with someone else filling in hologram duties. Sam helped Al, too, especially when the latter had to cope with being a woman for the first time - but that, as they say, is another story. 'Our gift is Time. Time to pray, time to worship daily; Time to study; Time to listen; time to help. Time for other people. It is time we put at God's disposal, time he has given us..... to share our thoughts, our inspirations with those who seek; To help in time of need; To listen to all who need to talk - in excitement, in despair - and to bring their needs to God.... Single and married; In homes, travellers and homeless; resident and visitor; Man, woman and child. Time to be available to serve. Our time is not our own, it is a gift from God.' (abridged) Valerie Flint-Johnson, Quest Community, Glastonbury, Somerset. 'The dust will not settle in our time. And when it does some great roaring machine will come and whirl it all sky high again.' S. Beckett (the other one, wrote a few plays...)