Message-ID: Date: Thu, 8 Jan 1998 20:45:23 +0000 From: Heather Markham Subject: Aliquantum Salio - Chapters 26-28 "ALIQUANTUM SALIO" by Heather Markham CHAPTER TWENTY SIX Sam showered, shaved and began dressing. He opened one side of his closet. There were several suits hanging on a rail. His suits were quite sober compared to Al's, but then anyone's clothes would be sober by Al's standards. Sam didn't go in for flashy, ostentatious clothes, his clothes were smart, well tailored and comfortable. He ran his hands along the row of jackets, trousers and shirts, as he touched each one in turn, brief memories came into his mind from the times he'd last worn them. times when his life had been his own to command. How many times had he dreamed of being back here, of just being able to do this simple act, to go to his own closet and choose something of his own to wear. He took out a pair of black dress jeans and chose a black silk shirt to match. The buckle of his belt was that of two entwined silver snakes. He revelled in the luxury of being able to dress in his own cloths. The body he was temporarily inhabiting, Mulder's body, was about the same build, the clothes fitted well. He glanced at himself in the mirror and immediately wished he hadn't. It was a stark and sudden reminder that he wasn't home and dry yet, he was still living on borrowed time, in a borrowed body. The cool water from the shower had been pleasant, refreshing and very welcoming. It had helped to clear his mind. Al had been right, he had felt tired but now he felt more awake. He checked his watch, it was just past ten pm. He hoped Dana hadn't retired to bed just yet, he needed to brief her on the conversation between himself and Langly. He took one more, long lasting look around his apartment suite, drank in the warmth and familiarity of his surroundings, of all the little private things that he had collected over the years, of working for the Project. All the little things that made the rooms his, that had indelibly imprinted his character on the place. He noticed his old wooden jewellery box laying on a shelf. He walked over, picked it up, carefully opened it. There were tie pins, cuff links and rings. He took out one small golden band, held it delicately between his fingers. It was the ring his father had given to him just before he'd died of a heart attack. It was one of his most treasured possessions. He quickly slipped it onto one of his fingers, he toyed with it for a moment, twisting it around and around, it brought back so many memories. He closed his eyes to let them run through his mind for a few moments. He walked to the door, opened it, stepped out into the hall. Dana had been given a suite just along on the opposite side from his. He thought about her, it was difficult for him to think of anything else lately. He hadn't been exaggerating when he'd told Al that he didn't think he could have got quite so far with the retrieval process without her. He swallowed and tried to shelve his feelings for her, he knew there probably never would be anything between them even though he knew that he loved her. Tomorrow she would leave here and he would probably never see her again. He noticed a warm glowing light escaping from beneath her door. He walked slowly across the hall and rapped on the door with his knuckles. He leaned closer to it, listening for signs of movement, he could hear the sounds of music playing faintly from inside. He waited a few moments and knocked again, calling to her through the door, "Dana, it's me, Sam." There was still no reply, he closed his eyes and thought, this was the last chance he would have to talk to her privately.......and there was no answer, perhaps she had fallen asleep. He lowered his head despondently and moved to walk away, just then there was a noise, the door opened slightly, Dana peered around from behind it. Her hair was damp and combed from her face. "Oh, Sam, I'm sorry, I almost didn't hear you. I just stepped out of the shower. A minute earlier and I wouldn't have heard you at all." she paused to study his face, "Is everything okay? Do you need me?" Sam flushed slightly, yes, he needed her, he wanted her, but it had nothing to do with work. "Er...no, no, everything's fine. I'm just on my way back to check how things are progressing at the Control Centre. I thought I'd better let you know what happened with Langly....I also wanted to say thanks for all the help you gave me today." he felt a little flustered, "I guess, I should have come over earlier, perhaps I should come back in the morning before we start up the accelerator?" Dana hesitated for a few seconds then smiled warmly and opened the door wider, "No, it's okay. Please, come in. You'll have to excuse the fact that I'm still a little damp." He felt a little embarrassed to catch her like that, he went over to the couch and sat down, he watched her as she finished drying her hair. She was draped in a golden, silk kimono, beads of water sparkled and reflected from her neck, she looked absolutely stunning. The soft fabric of the robe clung to her damp body as she moved. She evoked a passion within him that was difficult for even him to hide. He felt his face redden at his own thoughts, thoughts that would have been more at home in Al's mind. He swallowed hard and averted his gaze, hoping it would allow him to keep some kind of control on his feelings. She padded barefoot into the bathroom. He returned his gaze to the room, he'd been here many times before. It was the guest's suite. It had a balcony outside the french windows, which afforded one of the best views of the desert and surrounding mountain area. It was a large bed-sitting room which had been beautifully designed and furnished by joint efforts of Verbena and Tina. The bedroom area was separated from the lounge on a slightly higher level, like a deck. The bed was raised on a large flat pine plinth, positioned over near the double french windows. It had been draped in a lace mosquito net and lace cover. That end of the room was darkened and shrouded in shadows, he could see the moonlight streaming in through the window, across the pillows and bolsters. Dana spoke to him from the little bathroom, her voice echoed slightly, "So, how did it go with Langly? Have you convinced him everything is fine and this place is of no interest to him?" Sam stood up and wandered idly around the room, "I think he's satisfied about this place but I'm not so sure as to whether or not he'll come back to the desert. I gave him a piece of evidence and Ziggy's report on it, to keep him quiet." She walked back into the room, she stood and stared at him, "What piece of evidence would that be?" she questioned. "I took two samples from Churnik's body. I kept one for my own use. I had Ziggy do an in-depth analysis of it this morning." Dana walked up to him, "I didn't know you took two samples! Why did you do that?" He turned his back to her, walked back to the couch and sat down. "Because, at the time, I didn't trust an ordinary Path lab to do a full and complete analysis and to give a truthful, unbiased report." She moved over and stood in front of him and demanded softly, "So.....did Ziggy come up with anything else?" He held her gaze, "She ran a check on every substance and bio-structure known to man on this earth. There was no match, Dana, that substance was entirely foreign! It must have come from an alien source...there's no other explanation for it. Out there in the desert, Langly and Churnik must have come into contact with something strange, something not of this earth." She sat down next to him, he gazed at her, She shook her head, "There must be a rational explanation to what happened to them. You know I don't have the same beliefs as you." Sam griped her arm, "Dana.....I'm not Mulder remember! I'm a scientist, I'm not paranoid the same way he is about things of this nature. You can't refute evidence like that, it's scientific proof." he paused and stared deeply into her eyes, "Alright, so you don't know me that well yet....but one thing you do know about me is, that I'm logical, I have a methodical, logical mind. Believe me Dana, if there was another explanation for all of what happened out there, then I would have found that logical answer. It has to be down to alien intervention!" Dana pursed her lips, "And you gave the evidence and the report to Langly!" "Yeah, I had to give him something, otherwise he'd have half his associates out here sky-watching for the next ten years." She thought for a few seconds, then added, "Oh, Sam, you don't know the man like I do, you've just given him something to fuel him on. He'll never let it go now!" Sam drew his hand away from her. His face expressed the realization of the mistake he'd made, of his misjudgement. "But I did a deal with him Dana! He said if I let him keep the evidence, let him have it analysed for himself, he'd keep out of trouble, keep away from here!" "I hope you're right, Sam. I hope he keeps his end of the bargain because if he doesn't, Mulder and I will be trailing out here every couple of months looking for him." Sam lowered his head and muttered quietly, "I wouldn't mind that." She heard what he said and laid her hand gently on his, "Oh, Sam, I...." He withdrew his hand quickly, he was trying to concentrate on Al's words of wisdom and not allow himself to become involved with her. He stopped her in mid sentence by standing and moving towards the door. "Look, I, er.... I'd better go, I've kept you long enough. You must be tired." he turned back to her, reached for her hand and clasped it in his own, "I want to thank you for all your help. I can't tell you just how much of a help you really were to me, how much it meant to me. It was really great getting to know you properly, if you're ever around this way again, you will drop by and say hi!" his voice was soft and quivered slightly. His eyes held her gaze, he looked down pulled the thin golden band from his finger, lifted her hand and slipped it on to one of hers. "This belonged to my father, he gave it to me.....before he died. I want you to have it. It's only a small token of my thanks and my feelings for you. I'll never forget you Dana....I hope you'll remember me, too," She searched his face, pulled him to her and hugged him. How could she let him go, she guessed what he was thinking. He couldn't know how she felt for him, she hadn't said anything to him to intimate her feelings. "Oh, Sam. It's a beautiful gesture, are you sure you want me to have it, it must be of great sentimental value to you." He nodded, swallowed and drew back from her but she held onto his hand, "Sam, I don't want you to go.....not yet. Please stay, at least, a while longer." They stared into each others eye's, searched each other's souls. He put one arm around her shoulder, gently brushed a loose curl of damp hair from her forehead and kissed her brow. "Do you really want me to stay? Do you really want me? You've only known the real me for a few hours. You are sure it's me you want and not Mulder?" She spoke softly, her voice full of affection and warmth, "I know who I want. I know who you are, I think I always knew who you were. I want you Sam...I can almost see you beneath the pretence of Mulder's shell. When I look into your eyes, it's you I see." She turned her face up to him, he drew her close, encircled her in his arms, they kissed, a long lingering, sensuous kiss. Music was still playing softly in the background, they began to sway to it as they kissed. The strains of the song `I want to know where love is' had been playing, it drifted from the radio, he sighed and shuddered slightly. He hadn't felt like this about anyone before. Was it right, was this right? There was still the possibility of things going wrong, he might still leap out before time. Was he being fair to her? Was he being fair to himself? He pushed the thoughts away. How could he resist loving her now. Dana felt him shiver, drew back to gaze at him, there was an intensity in his eyes she'd never seen before, "What's wrong?" He nuzzled his head into her hair and whispered softly to her, "The words to this song, they seem to reflect my life. Dana, I love you....but is this right?" He held her away from him, sighed deeply. There was a look of pain and regret in his eyes. "No, no. We shouldn't do this. I can't do this. I may not be here tomorrow. I may not have much longer. Ziggy say's there's still over a ninety percent chance that I might leap before being able to use the retrieval process. There's a chance I may leap out before the proper time. What if the retrieval program doesn't work! How could I leave you, I couldn't.....I couldn't bear to lose you after only one night." She looked thoughtful, then she smiled, encircled her arms around his neck, drew him back to her and kissed him softly on the side of his cheek, close to his ear, "Sam, it's okay.....I've learned not to be afraid of tomorrow, tomorrow may never come. Even if something does go wrong and we only have these few moments, at least we have them. We'll always have them. Don't be afraid to love me now. Sam.....I love you. I'll always love you." The love song ended and was replaced by another, it was `Don't be a stranger tonight'. "If the last song said it for you, then listen to the words of this song. It says it all for me Sam. I don't want to be on my own tonight, I want to be with you." She was smiling up at him. He tilted his head from her's as he listened to the words of the melody. He began to speak once more but she silenced him with the tip of her finger, closing his lips. He took her fingers, kissed them, wrapped her hands in his. He gazed into her eyes. They were beautiful eyes, blue like the morning sky. He could see the love there. He wanted her love, needed her love more than anything in the world. They stood searching each other, reaching into the depths of each other's souls, emotions and feelings. He hugged her to him, wrapping one arm around her waist and resting the other on her shoulder. He bent his head towards her and kissed her again, a soft but passionate kiss. A kiss that expressed a life time of longing and desire for love. A life time travelling and searching for a love like this. He moved his hand slowly down and slipped the robe from one shoulder. Drawing his lips from hers, he kissed her shoulder, her neck, her throat. Tiny beads of sweat glinted on her soft skin, he delicately traced a pattern through the dampness with the back of his finger tips and kissed away the tiny rivulets of water. He wanted to bury himself in her love, in their love for each other. This felt so right, so good. She moved her hands from the back of his neck to let them play through his hair. She smelled the sweet smell of him, his aftershave. They mingled and became an unforgettable, heady perfume. She could feel the urgency of his love, the need she had aroused in him pressing against her. She could feel the passion and the tenderness within him, it was a rare mixture. She had searched his face, his eyes, had searched his features, it was true, she could almost see past, see through the image of Mulder. The closeness of their souls, her love for him began to make some kind of connection, the image of Mulder faded and was suddenly replaced by that of Sam's. She really could see Sam as himself. She gasped, "Sam! Oh, Sam....I can see you! I can see you as you really are." he stopped kissing her, caressing her, they stood motionless for a moment as her words sank in. He looked at her, closed his eyes, smiled and nodded. It was a smile that she would never, ever forget. He tightened his arms around her, pressing her tightly to him. Suddenly, he drew her upwards, bent slightly and with one deft movement, he swept her from her feet, catching her up into his arms. He carried her up into the darkened area of the room. He carried her to the bed, laid her gently against the pillows and bolsters, kicked off his shoes and climbed next to her. He unbuttoned his shirt, she reached forward and pulled it from him. He wrapped her in his arms, kissing and caressing her slowly and gently as he did so. Their bodies entwined as they kissed. She ran her hands across the firm, taught muscles of his lean body. Time passed them by. She savoured every moment. Remembered every kiss, every caress. If anything happened to him now and she lost him forever, then she would want to hold onto this night for eternity. He ran his fingers delicately along the edge of the neckline of her robe, sliding it from one shoulder, then from the other. He brought his hands up to cup her face, tenderly stroking the side of her cheek with his fingers. He nuzzled his face against her neck, kissing her. He kissed her just below her ear, gently tickling, teasing her with the tip of his tongue. It sent shivers and tingles of excitement and anticipation through her body. He felt her move against him. He kissed the hollow in her throat and began moving lower and lower, kissing her, teasing her. He slipped his hands down along the curves of her body until they reached the loosely tied belt of the robe, he stopped momentarily to untie it. He slid his fingers inside the silky fabric, felt her skin beneath his touch. She wriggled free of the garment, it fell from the bed to floor. His breath was hot and rapid, his heart was pounding. He fumbled with his own belt and buckle, unfastening the clip of his trousers and pushing them and the rest of his clothing off with one hand, she helped him to discard them. She relaxed back and slid down into the softness of the bed. He looked at her, his soft green eyes were filled with love and longing. She pulled him to her. He covered her body with his, she wrapped herself around him. He was trapped in her embrace, an embrace from which he had no wish or intention of freeing himself. His long slender fingers began to explore her body, tickling her, stroking, teasing her. As he kissed and caressed her, feelings and emotions surged and throbbed through him. He knew he would never, could never feel like this about anyone else, ever again. He could remember glimpses of loves he'd had while he had been leaping around in time but this, this was different. This was more than an ordinary love, it went far, far deeper. They were true soul mates, the fact that she could see him for himself, proved they were meant to be together, that they were truly connected. He could sense she felt the same way, that her love for him ran just as deeply. Perhaps fate had been on his side after all, perhaps this leap had not only been for him to get home but also for him to find Dana. He couldn't bear the possibility of anything else. The pain of losing everything now, of losing her now would be too much for his spirit to bear. His anxieties, his thoughts, were slowly dissipating in a tide of feelings, pleasure, bliss and delicious love. He lost himself to her love, her beauty. He tasted the essence of a previously unknown paradise. He lost his soul to her's. He succumbed and let his feelings and emotions swim in a sea of endless, timeless, unadulterated love, a sea of pure delight and euphoria. Waves of pleasure pulsed and scintillated through him with each and every kiss she laid upon his naked skin, with every stroke of her finger tips upon his body. She caressed him, teased him, tantalized him. All he could think about was her, her scent, the feel of her softly yielding body as he pushed against her, filled her. A murmured gasp escaped her throat as he moved slowly against her, within her. Delicious, tingling sensations ebbed and flowed with every stroke of his gentle movements. She clasped him to her, her fingers stroking, clenching and digging into the muscles and skin of his back. She ran her fingers up and down his spine, sending tingles of excitement through his being. He was completely lost to her as she stimulated him, thrilled and delighted him. He had become completely intoxicated by her. Shivers and waves of exquisite pleasure undulated through her body, pulsed and surged through her, from the very pit of her stomach to the furthest reaches of her being. Each movement he made inside her brought wave after wave of searing, sensual passion. Her arms tightened around him, she laced her legs about him, her body moved with his. The merest touch of his fingers playing on her skin sent tingles of intense pleasure through every fibre of her being. She had never, ever felt anything like this before. He was transporting her on a penetrating journey of love, a journey which was taking her with him, to paradise. They kissed, caressed, embraced, explored each other's senses for what seemed like an eternity. He moved slowly against her, setting a slow, deliberate and carefully controlled rhythm. He was drowning in a sea of passion, drowning in her love, her body, each controlled movement bringing electrifying currents of warm pleasure, they rippled through him. The sensations he felt were almost too much to contain. He kissed her over and over again, caressed her, gently and delicately, stroked and massaged his hands across her breasts, he kissed her there. He fought to gain control of his feelings, his body, to prolong the moment. He didn't want this moment to end. He struggled to control his growing urgency, his burning need. He paused for a single, breathless, restive moment. He lingered there to gain control of himself. His body fought against him, he shook and trembled. He couldn't hold his feelings back any longer, they had become irresistible. He was no longer in command of himself. His heart raced, his breath was fast and harsh. He let himself be carried forward on spasms of sheer ecstacy. Moving faster and faster, each intense movement washed over them both. The sensations arched his back. Incredible waves of pleasure, rapture, emotion and love coursed through him. He soared to never before felt heights of passion. He carried her with him, ascending, riding on the wings of flaming, burning desire. Sensations too exquisite to describe peaked and dipped and finally, with a crescendo of feeling, they forced themselves from him in a succession of expulsive torrents of pure ecstacy. Dana gripped him tightly, her back arched as his had done moments before. He gasped, a moan escaped him. Their bodies convulsed in the throws of a climax which they reached together. He shivered, trembled and slowly relaxed into the warm feelings of complete and utter satisfaction. A feeling of shared love swept over them both. They had shared each other's bodies, shared each others feelings and emotions, they had become one. Now, they lay there sharing in the blissful, glowing aftermath of their lovemaking. Dana clung to him, her face buried in his neck. The sweat from their bodies mingled. Their naked bodies glistened in the light of the moon outside. Her tongue licked at his neck, at his throat. She had been as demonstrative as he had been. Her desire had been as inflamed as his. She moved slightly, beneath him, trying to savour the remnants of the moment for as long as she could. she knew she could never feel that way with anyone other than Sam. He wasn't an adventurous lover but what he lacked in adventure, he made up for with passion and intensity. Sam was a true romantic, tender, loving and considerate. When he gave of himself, he gave everything, his body, his heart and his soul. He gave completely. Sam responded by kissing her, tenderly now. He gazed at her, his heart still beating quickly, was still alight with her beauty but the flame of passion was quenched and quietened. He nuzzled at her, he kissed her forehead, her eyes, her nose and then her lips, a long lingering kiss, "I love you......I'll always love you. Where ever I am, what ever I do.....remember I love you. I'll never forget this night, I'll never forget you." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her in a tight embrace. They lay there making the moments of the night last for as long as they could. Finally, he eased himself from her and rolled to lay beside her. He pulled himself up, half sitting half laying against the head of the bed. She ran her hands across his chest, furrowing her fingers through the soft fuzziness of the hair on his naked chest. She kissed him there, snuggled up to him and rested her head there. She hadn't had many relationships before, only one had lasted any length of time, the rest weren't memorable at all but Sam was different, Sam was unique. She had never, in her life before felt anything like the love she felt for him now. She sighed softly, she knew she would never be able to part with him, she would never be able to bear losing him. She couldn't bear the thought that tomorrow's retrieval might not work, she wanted him forever, she wanted this forever. Her hair had fanned across his chest, he stroked and fondled it between his fingers. He looked at her resting peacefully against him. He couldn't bear the thought of ever losing her. He knew that the following day she would depart for Washington with Mulder and Langly. How could he let go of her tomorrow, how could he say goodbye? She was a career woman, she had a hectic and difficult job, would she come back to him? He wanted to share the rest of his life with her. He sighed, he was determined that whatever happened, somehow he would find a way for them to be together as much as they possibly could. what ever happened, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life, the rest of eternity with her. He wanted to stay here with her like this for ever, never moving, never straying from her embrace. A brief look of pain crept across his features as he contemplated the awful thought of leaping out and losing her forever. He lay back and closed his eyes to shut out the world, the painful thoughts. When he opened them again Al was standing beside the bed. The sudden shock of his appearance made him gasp. Al's eyes widened at the situation he had interrupted, Sam admonished him quietly, "Al! Do you mind! Don't you have any decency? Turn around...go on! Jeezus, can't a man get a bit of privacy once in a while!" His friend looked mortified, wrinkled his nose in mock offence and turned away. Sam was quickly pulling at the sheet to cover himself and Dana. She cuddled up to him and kissed him on the lower part of his chest, "Okay, you can turn back now." Al chewed on his cigar, his previous look of shock softened and turned to one of sympathy and understanding. "Oh Sam, ya didn't, tell me ya didn't. No, don't bother, I can see for myself that ya did. Why, Sam? Why do you like causing yourself so much heartache?" Sam looked over to him and spoke in a whisper, "I don't care, I wanted her so much. I love her Al...I love her so much it hurts, she loves me too. She can see me for real, we're that close.....she can really see me, Al!" "Yeah? That's great Sam, your masons and neurons must have got it together too." He grinned and made appropriate hand gestures, bringing the fingers of his hand together, "But I'm still not sure you should have started this." Sam was looking down at Dana, gently stroking her hair. "She spent the night with me, not Mulder. It's different this time, you can see that. Tomorrow, I'll be back as myself, I won't have started something I can't continue. Everything's going to be fine, everything's going to be okay this time." Al closed his eyes and flinched at the pain his friend could be setting himself up for. "I hope so Sam, I certainly hope so." The odds Ziggy was giving on Sam leaping had been checked and as Sam had said, they were still rising, they were now up to ninety-eight percent. The problem was, Ziggy still couldn't predict the why and the where. He crossed his fingers for the umpteenth time since this leap occurred. Dana stirred from the restful fuzziness at the edge of sleep, Sam shook her gently, "Dana, Al's here," She looked around the room, where, I can't see him." Her words suddenly made him realize that Al was here as a hologram, he was so used to his friend showing up out of the blue, the situation didn't immediately seem strange to him. He panicked suddenly, "Al, why are you here like this? Why didn't you just come by and knock?" Al shuffled his feet, "Er.... we've had slight problems," Sam sat bolt upright, Dana pulled the covers up to her chin and moved to sit beside him. "What problems? Has something gone wrong?" He began to climb from the bed. Al gestured at him to stop and quieten down, "It's okay, don't worry. Over the past hour, we've been experiencing a few power fluctuations.....no, don't look so worried.....while you and Dana were working on the retrieval process, Ike, Gushie and Jenkins were working on a little baby of their own, a dampener field. Gushie wanted to be prepared for every eventuality. He knew how important it would be to keep the accelerator at constant energy flow. The surges and power spikes are being absorbed by the field, they're being drained off, redirected and contained. We may even be able to use the extra, conserved power to boost our own out-put for the acceleration point. So, ya see..everything's okay. I just dropped by 'cos I thought you should know about it." Sam regarded him suspiciously, "Then why didn't you come here to tell me in person, when the fluctuations first began?" Al looked at him with exasperation, "Because I stupidly thought you would be in your own apartment getting a couple of hours rest! And besides, I didn't know about it straight away myself. Me and Tina were having a little party of our own, remember!" Sam grinned then asked, "Do you know how far they've got with the change-over modifications?" Al shook his head, "No but I think it'll be a couple more hours yet. I'll go back and check on progress. I'll come back a little later and let you know how everything's going." Sam looked across at Dana, he had that soft puppy dog look in his eyes, he looked back at his friend, "Al, there's no need to rush, we're not going anywhere.....just yet. I think Dana and I could do with some rest. Sam was pulling Dana to him, he kissed her softly and tenderly on her forehead. She nuzzled into him, cuddling close. Al did a double take at Sam, smiled broadly and winked, "Yeah, whatever you say Sam." He was peering at the pair of them, "Saaam....Sam! Oh never mind. I'll come back in the morning, I guess." Sam was by now immersed in another kiss, he waved casually back over at Al and continued. Al, sighed and muttered to himself, "Uh huh, rest he said, yeah, sure thing." His eyes sparkled with amusement, he punched at the hand link and disappeared from view. They were alone together again. She was in his arms, nuzzling and kissing his neck, he returned them with warmth and loving. The desire she had fired within him before, began to rekindle. They snuggled back onto the bed, beneath the covers. He pulled her tightly to him with renewed urgency and fervour. They immersed themselves in each others love once again. Time slipped by and once again they lost themselves in each other. At last, their desire and passions were spent. They quietly lay together, wrapped in each others arms, their bodies still entwined. Slumber evaded them, the expectations and fears of the coming day kept them from any thoughts of sleep. They rested in the comfortable peace and warmth of each others presence. They chatted and talked about themselves. They laughed together, they talked of the past, of their hopes, their fears and the future. CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN The warm air was beginning to turn chill. He casually tugged at the covers to draw them a little further up around themselves. His eyes widened in sudden panic. There was a large spot of blood on the crisp white sheet where her face had been resting upon his chest. He was horrified at the thought that he may have hurt her. "Oh Dana, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Why didn't you say something?" He turned her face up to him. The traces of a thin trickle of blood were smeared just below her nose,. She was momentarily bewildered. "Dana, Dana....are you okay?" Concern and anxiety filled his voice as he indicated the mark, "Look, you've been bleeding!" She brought a finger up quickly to check, she wiped the blood from her nose and studied it on her fingertips. He could see she looked shocked and frightened, "Dana? What's wrong with you. Here let me help, after all, I am a doctor." He dabbed at the trickle with the edge of the sheet. "It looks like you just had a little nose bleed that's all. It's okay now.....do you often get them?" She bent her head to look down and away from him. He gently held his hand under her chin and lifted her face towards him. She desperately tried to hold back her tears. how could she tell him the truth. "Yes...I get them now and again.....it's nothing, really." He was studying the expression in her eyes, they betrayed her. He knew she was hiding something terrible from him. "Dana, please, tell me what's wrong. I know you're keeping something from me.....tell me what it is. I may be able to help." She drew in a quivering breath, her lower lip trembled. She bit down on it to stop it as she looked into his eyes, he looked so worried but she had to continue, she didn't want there to be secrets between them, "Ohhh Sam, there's no easy way for me to say this....I have cancer. I have non-operable, pharangeal carcinoma." The word cancer slammed through him as hard as if he'd been hit by a bullet. He felt totally devastated, he flinched, his face fell and he gasped. He knew the medical implications and prognosis of the disease. He couldn't think of anything to say, he was utterly speechless. He felt so utterly helpless, here he was a physicist, a doctor, she had a condition he knew there was only a slim chance of curing. He couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it, "Cancer?!. Nooo...no, that can't be true...." She cut in sharply, "It is true Sam. It was diagnosed months ago." He held her close to him, rocking her gently, he could only hope, "Cancer....cancer can be cured, there are cures, have you had treatment? I know some of the best doctors in the states.....I can get the very best help for you." "I've had treatments but they only served to weaken my strength. I had to stop them. I chose to stop them. The doctors tell me I'm fine for the moment, I don't feel ill, I have no pain yet. I haven't given up hope Sam.....I'll never give up hope and I'll never let it get to me. I intend to fight it. If it's at all possible, I intend to beat it. I have so many things I want to do. There are people I care about...people I don't want to leave behind or let down. And now I've found you....I'm never going to give up the fight." He bent his head to kiss her softly and stroked her hair. It was hard to believe that someone as beautiful as Dana could be invaded by such a horrible disease. "Dana, I'm so sorry, are you sure there's nothing else they can do?" Sadly, she shook her head. "No, but I have faith Sam....I have faith. I'm okay for now. Please don't worry about me, don't let this thing hurt you, too." He had only known Dana for a short time but he loved her...he loved her as deeply as if he'd known he for all eternity. He screwed his eyes tightly shut, as if to squeeze the pain from his mind and made a silent plea, `Oh, God, whatever you do now, please don't take me away from her. I couldn't bear it, not now...she needs me. She needs me to help her fight this awful thing'. He couldn't believe fate could be so cruel. After the years of leaping around, after a lifetime of searching for love and happiness, now he'd found someone he really loved, she could to be snatched from him. It seemed fate was going to continue twisting the knife and would continue to make his life hell, even though it might allow him to get home. He held her tightly in his arms and cuddled her, "Dana, let me help you, let me find a way, there must be a way. There must be something we can do. I have the most advanced computer system in the world, at my disposal. I'll find a cure, if I have to spend every single second on it, I'll find a cure. Dana, I promise, I'll find a cure or at least a treatment for you. I'm not about to let fate have the last laugh and take you from me....not now....not ever. I'm not going to let you get sick, I'm not going to let anything happen to you, I promise." She smiled up at him, her pale skin shone in the soft rays of the moonlight. He lay there and wondered how or why she'd got it, he felt there was still something she hadn't told him, he had to ask, "Do you know why you have it? Is it related to something that happened to you?" She searched his features, he looked so unhappy, dare she tell him the truth. She felt she couldn't keep anymore secrets from him, she took a deep breath and began, "A while ago I was abducted and used as part of an experiment, I lost months of my life but don't remember much about it." He interrupted her words, "My God, are you telling me that you were actually abducted by aliens." "No, no Sam, they weren't aliens.....they were humans....they were conducting experiments in gene splicing and genetic duplicity....cloning. My condition was a side effect, a by-product of the experiments." He looked at her incredulously as she told him everything she could remember about her strange abduction. She was laying, fiddling with the small gold cross she wore around her neck. "I finally ended up in hospital, no-one knows how I got there or who took me. I was sick, very sick, they told me afterwards that I nearly died. While I was ill, I suppose I must have been in a coma, I was looked after by a nurse......she was very kind, she helped me on a spiritual level, I saw her in my dreams. She helped me through, she told me to have faith, to believe in the power of faith." She paused, Sam was looking at her unblinkingly, she went on, "Later, when I woke up and asked the hospital Sister if I could see her to thank her, I was told no nurse of her description or name worked there. I don't know who or what she was.....perhaps she was my guardian angel but she gave me real faith." He gazed at her, his voice almost a whisper, "Use that faith Dana....promise me you'll hang on to it." She nodded, he kissed her gently on her forehead. "Dana, as soon as Al shows up again, I'm going to ask him run all your files and medical records through Ziggy. I don't want to waste any time, I'll have him get her to access all the latest medical breakthroughs, if there's anything, the slightest possibility of a non-invasive cure, I'll find it. I won't stop until I find something to help you. To hell with the Project, as soon as I leap back, I'm going to make you a priority. I'm going to devote my time to research into this horrible thing......God hasn't leaped me out of here yet, tomorrow's not far away now, perhaps the whole reason for me being here was to find you and to find a cure for this particular type of carcinoma.....I knew Ziggy was wrong, I knew it!" Dana nestled down against him, she trusted him implicitly. It felt so good to have been able to share those awful memories with someone, with him. If anyone could find a cure, a treatment for her, then she had no doubts it would be him. He lay his head back to rest on the head of the bed. There was a look of darkness and pain in his expressive eyes. He closed them and thought about her, he thought about the terrible disease she carried in her, the way in which she'd contracted it. He choked back a sob, he didn't want her to know how much pain he felt. Why, why.....Oh God, why do this to her. Why did you let them take her, torture her? Why did you let them do the things they did? Why make her suffer this way? What harm has she ever done to anyone. He hoped and prayed he could keep his promises to her and would be able to help her to fight it. He couldn't shake the wretchedness, the despondency of the mood he now felt, from his being. Thoughts of losing Dana were plaguing him, even more now than they had before. The thought of at last being able to make it back to his own time, his own body, of having found his hearts desire, only to lose her to an illness, was too cruel. For two years something had been using him to help other people, to right wrongs, to alter the misdemeanours and minor disasters of the past. For two years he'd done that job to the best of his ability, helping whoever and wherever he could. Two years of hard, sometimes very difficult work just to be thanked in this way, to be treated so sadistically. What terrible deed had he committed, that he should have to pay such a high price. What right did fate, destiny or God have in torturing him this way. His emotions welled within him, silent tears gently coursed from his eyes as he hugged Dana to him. CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT Suddenly and momentarily a white light blazed within the room. Al stepped from the Imaging Chamber, his face was ashen and creased in a look of panic, "Sam.......Sam, get up, hurry....Oh-my-God, you're not gonna believe this....Langly's gone!" Sam sat bolt upright and stared at him in disbelief, panic setting into his voice too, "What!" "He knocked out one of the medical orderlies, took his uniform and pass. He put the orderly in the bed and drew up the sheets. No-one noticed what had happened until the nurse went to check on Langly a few minutes ago." Sam's eyes were wide with anxiety, his mouth drawn into a thin line. He gulped back a harsh breath, "When did this happen? How could he have gotten out of there? I thought he was sedated or guarded or something!" "We don't know the exact time he escaped, it could have been anything up to an hour ago. I'm so sorry Sam, but the medical ward isn't exactly the sorta place you consider a prison. Plus, we didn't think he needed guarding......we didn't think he was in a fit state to want to go anywhere and anyways, we thought he was sedated too." Sam's uneasiness and anxiety were rising, "Is he still in the complex?" Al hit the handlink and read off the data, "Ziggy's trying to locate him now......yeah, here it is, " he looked up at his friend, a look of real terror in his eyes, "Dammit Sam, Ziggy's done a sweep of the entire area, he's gone back out into the desert. I'm sorry Sam, he must have hot wired one of the jeeps, used the pass to get past the night guard or somethin'. He's out at the place where Churnik died. Ziggy says he's in terrible danger, you have to go out there and bring him back......Sam, she's ninety-eight point nine percent sure of it!" he gulped back a panicked breath, "This is it Sam, this is what you're really here to do. Something's going to happen to him, that's if it hasn't already happened." Sam was up and pulling on his clothes, Dana couldn't see Al's holographic image and could only hear half the conversation but there was no doubts in her mind as to what was going on. She wrapped a sheet around herself and hurried off to dress. She wasn't about to let him go out there without her. Sam began pacing the floor, trying to sort things out in his mind, he knew what might happen. He stopped, spun round to face Al, he looked angry, there was a look of defiance in his expression. "No! No, Al, I'm not going.....I'm not going to do it this time! If I go out there you know as well as I do, I'll save Langly, I'll have completed the mission and I'll leap! Well, I've had enough, I'm finished with leaping around, playing the hero and never being able to get home." He brought his hand up and gestured a small measure between his thumb and forefinger, "I'm this close to getting home, I don't intend to throw it all away now. Langly got himself into this mess, he can damn well get himself out of it!" Al stared back at him in disbelief, he was utterly dumbfounded by Sam's sudden outburst but he could also see his point of view and he didn't relish the thought of losing Sam again either. "Sam, calm down. This is not like you at all. I think you have to go and save him and anyway, it's what you do, you're the good guy, remember? It's your job, you know that!" Rebellion was still throbbing through Sam's thoughts but his anger had turned to sufferance, "No, I don't know it! I didn't apply for the job either, just you remember that! Al, don't you think I'm entitled to a life of my own? If I go out there and rescue him, if I leap, I may carry on leaping forever and I don't think I have the strength to do that. It's too hard and I'm too tired." he paused and swallowed hard, "Al, I might never get another chance to reach home." his words ended as a plea from the soul. Al nodded, his heart went out to his best friend, "I know how you feel, of course you want to stay here, who wouldn't. If I had to do what you do, I'd feel exactly the same. Sam, I'm not the one forcing you to go, I don't want to lose you either but if you don't go out there......if something happens to Langly, if this leap is for him and you fail, you might leap anyway. We don't know, Ziggy doesn't know what will happen if you don't fulfil your predicted leap." He squirmed at the thought of his next words, "I'm sorry, I hate to be the one to say this, but you may not have much say in the matter. It may not be your choice to make, fate does what destiny demands." Sam strode back to the bed and slumped down, he buried his head in his hands, "You don't understand, I can't leap, I have to stay here." he looked up at Al, there were tears in his eyes, "I can't leap now, I have to be with Dana.....Al, she has cancer. I have to be here for her. I promised I'd be here, I promised to help her." Al winced at his friends words, it was one of those times that he wished he'd been able to console Sam in person. He walked over and sat next to him, "I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say? Is she okay?" Sam rubbed the tears from his face, "I think so, for now. With the help of Ziggy, we may be her only chance in finding a treatment. I promised her......" His emotions welled within him, he felt both helpless and enraged at the viciousness of fate. He stood up, a sudden fit of rage shot through him, he punched his fists into the air and shouted heaven-ward, "No...Please God, not now! Don't do this, it isn't fair!" Sam slowly controlled the rage but his voice still shook. He was pacing the floor again, wringing his hands together. "Is the Accelerator Chamber ready yet? Can we commence the initiation sequence now. If we can do the retrieval now, if I can switch with Mulder before going out there, everything might be alright." "No, Sam it's not quite fixed yet. It's not worth the risk, we don't want to lose you into the future. We wouldn't be able to track you, we wouldn't have a hope in hells chance of ever retrieving you.......it could even be worse than that, you could die in the process, think about the dangers, your atoms could get scattered from here to eternity. No, you can't risk it!" Dana had dressed, she had come back into the room and had been listening to the one sided conversation. She guessed the implications of what she heard. She walked across to Sam, took his hands in hers, squeezed them gently, "It's okay, you have to do this, I understand that you have to do it. I know you don't want to go, I know you don't want to leap anymore but we both know you don't really have any choice. I'll come with you, we'll see this through together." she paused, held his gaze with her own, "If God or fate brought us together, it must have been for a reason. Everything might be okay......If it isn't, if God decides to split us apart, then there must be a damned good reason for it. I hope I don't lose you, I hope we don't lose each other, remember what I said, don't be afraid of tomorrow. I love you, I'll always love you. At least we had tonight, no-one can take that away from us." she tried to smile as she coaxed him, "Come on, we may not have much time. Langly could be in real danger out there." he nodded gloomily, he didn't want to go but as usual he knew he had no real choice in the matter. Al had stood by and had watched anxiously. "She's right, come on, we gotta go. Use my car it's unlocked and it'll be faster than using one of the jeeps. Come on we gotta hurry, time's running out." Sam nodded resignedly, he clasped his arms around Dana, kissed her, clung to her for a moment, then let her go. He turned to his friend, "Okay, I'm ready, I don't like it but I'm ready." -- Heather Markham