From: Coast2C@aol.com
Date: Tue, 30 Apr 1996 21:23:08 -0400
Message-ID: <960430211958_387215989@emout12.mail.aol.com>
Subject: Convergence:  Part 13 of 25

Convergence
by
Dana Anderson

Part 13 of  25      (Author's Notes and Disclaimer found in Part 1) 

*               *               *               * 

When Al left the Imaging Chamber he went directly to his quarters, 
locked the door and informed Ziggy that he was not to be disturbed 
for any reason short of the most extreme emergency.  

He was furious.  In fact, he had never been this completely enraged 
in his entire life.  

Al went into the bathroom.  He stepped, fully clothed, into the 
shower and turned the cold water tap on full.  As the frigid water 
cascaded down upon his head, Al tore every piece of clothing off his 
body.  When he reached his ultimate level of tolerance for the cold 
torrent to which he had subjected himself, he cut the flow of water 
off and stepped out of the shower.  Without drying or clothing 
himself, he dropped to the tile floor and started performing pushups.  
By the time he had exercised to the point of exhaustion he 
recognized that a tiny part of his mind was now capable of coherent 
thought.  Al ruthlessly ordered the oxygen starved muscles of his 
arms to leverage his body into a kneeling position.  He rose, 
wrapped a towel around his waist and stalked into the kitchen.  Al 
tore open a cupboard and took a long burning swallow of scotch 
directly from the bottle and then hurled the glass container into the 
sink.  He leaned against the counter and tried, with every effort his 
will could muster, to calm himself.  

In one brutal moment his life had, once again, been savaged by fate.  
He could never be with Jenna again and he had been brought to the 
brink of permanent estrangement from the best friend he had ever 
had.  

Either of the two was appalling to consider, both might be beyond 
his ability to endure.  

Al was horrified at the way he had left things with Sam, but he had 
known he could not continue to talk to his friend at that moment.  
Not without destroying whatever remote chance remained for them 
to repair the damage that had been done to their relationship.  

Then there was Jenna.  Al's hands clenched into painful fists.  He 
could not begin to contemplate the suffering that would accompany 
being denied the right to ever touch or be touched by her again.  No 
form of birth control, other than abstention, was one hundred per 
cent effective and he had given his word of honor that he would not 
risk a child.  Al had not the slightest idea of how he could fully 
convey to Jenna the entire significance that this vow had for him.

Then there was what it would mean to her.  Jenna had been hurt, 
neglected and abandoned over and over again.  Al had never 
intended that she would have to suffer through another cycle of 
rejection, certainly not at his hands.  Even if he could find the words 
to sufficiently explain the situation to her it wouldn't ease the pain 
he would be causing her.

*               *               *               * 

An hour and a half later, with his fury spent and his emotions under 
a tight rein, Al stepped out of his quarters and returned to his office.  
He passed the afternoon in the emotionless world of paperwork.  
Late in the day he checked the status of Sam's leap with Ziggy and 
visited Sam briefly to relate the computer's latest information and 
calculations of Sam's effectiveness.  Their conversation was careful 
and strained and did not stray, by so much as a single word, from 
the business at hand.  When Al left the Imaging Chamber he had no 
way of knowing that he and Sam simultaneously heaved sighs of 
both relief and regret; relief that they had avoided additional damage 
to their friendship and regret that they had yet to take the first step 
away from the precipice of alienation at which they found 
themselves.

Al checked his watch and saw that it was six in the evening.  
"Ziggy, where is Colonel Tyler?" he inquired.

"Colonel Tyler has left the complex" the computer replied.

Al nodded to himself.  Jenna often went for a run after work and 
delayed her usually light evening meal until seven or later.  Al went 
to the cafeteria and had dinner, then returned to his quarters.  He sat 
on the balcony, smoked a cigar and waited.  At eight thirty, he heard 
a knock.  He rose from his chair, crossed the living room and 
opened the door.  

Jenna took several steps inside the doorway.  Al closed the door and 
turned.  Jenna stepped forward to meet him and lifted a hand toward 
his face.  Al recoiled from her touch and took an almost 
imperceptible step backward.  Jenna's body went rigid, as though in 
reaction to the impact of a physical blow.  The color drained from 
her face and she barely managed to whisper "What's wrong, Al?"

He did not answer, but stepped past her into the main room of his 
quarters and remained standing in the middle of the room with his 
back to her.  Jenna started to walk toward him again, but  halted her 
approach when he turned to face her.  The pain she saw in his eyes 
struck a chord of fear in her.  "We can't be together anymore" he 
rasped.  He cleared his throat to continue.  "Sam says we can't risk a 
child."

"Sam says" Jenna whispered, in an echo.  

Al nodded mutely, the anguish in him evident on his face.  He 
turned his head away.  Just the sight of her was enough to endanger 
his firm resolve not to touch her.

"Look at me, Al" Jenna said.  Al squeezed his eyes shut in pain.  
"Al, look at me" she insisted, in a soft appeal he could not ignore.

He opened his eyes and, when he turned his head toward her, saw 
that she had silently crossed to a point three feet away from him.  
She waited until he met her eyes and then said in a quiet and 
carefully controlled voice "I swear to you, on my word of honor, that 
there has never been any risk of a child."

If she had said anything else, Al didn't know how things might have 
proceeded.  As it was, he could see clearly, in the candid integrity of 
her eyes, that her word of honor meant every bit as much to her as 
his did to him.  Al could also see that the admission had cost her 
something.  He hoped that what he had to give was sufficient to 
make up for whatever it was she had lost.  

Al took a quick step forward and wrapped his arms around her in an 
embrace he wasn't sure he would ever be able to release.  Jenna's 
body merged with his as though it belonged nowhere else.  She 
encircled his waist with her arms and buried her face in his chest 
with a sob of relief.

*               *               *               * 

Later, the two of them lay side by side in bed.  Jenna's right shoulder 
overlapped Al's left, their faces resting against one another.  Al's left 
arm encircled her upper body and his left hand lay on her ribcage 
just below her breasts.  He had yet to found the resolve to allow her 
freedom from his reach and it seemed she needed to be held as much 
as he needed to hold her.

"Al," Jenna said "I want to explain the reason for what I told you 
earlier."

Al reached across her body with his right arm to enclose her more 
completely in his support.  "You don't have to explain anything" he 
said.  "Your word is all I'll ever need."

"You may not need to hear it, but I need to say it out loud" Jenna 
insisted.

"All right" Al replied.

Jenna covered his right hand with hers and moved his touch down to 
the scar that started just above her navel.  She continued the 
movement so that his fingertips traced the length of the scar, up and 
down several times.  The scar was thin and straight for about two 
inches at both the top and bottom, like a surgical scar, but the center 
four inches were somewhat ragged and puckered.  Al stopped the 
motion and spread his hand flat across her abdomen.  Jenna 
held it there by leaving her hand and arm lying atop his.

"I told you about this already" she began.

"I remember" Al said, hoping to spare her whatever unnecessary 
repetition of the incident he could.

"The damage was extensive and the surgery difficult.  The surgeon 
concentrated on eliminating any possibility of peritonitis, above any 
other concern.  I was five," Jenna continued "and every aspect of my 
physique was smaller and closer together."

Al's embrace tightened slightly and, before he could stop it, a moan 
escaped him "No" he whispered.

She did not speak, but he felt her head nodding against the side of 
his face.  After a moment, she went on.

"I told Paul about it before I would accept his proposal and he said it 
didn't matter.  But it did; to him anyway.  I knew it was because I 
couldn't give him a child that he had his affairs.  It wasn't that he 
actually wanted one of his partners to bear him a child, he just 
needed it to be a possibility."

Al was careful not to display any reaction.  She had known!  It must 
have hurt her terribly, Al thought.  *I wish I could leap back in time 
and kick that guy's butt up and down the street for making her feel 
like she wasn't everything a man could want.*

"Sometimes the irony of life is beyond comprehension" Jenna went 
on.  "The very thing that drove Paul away from me is what brought 
you back."

Al shifted his position to cover her body with his.  He began his 
enthusiastic appreciation of her womanhood with a passionate kiss.

*               *               *               * 

Later, Jenna lay next to Al watching him sleep.  There had been an 
acute intensity to Al's lovemaking that evening, but she sensed an 
inner tension in him that had not found release.  As he slept, he 
continuously muttered under his breath and shifted his position.  
There was something gnawing away at his subconscious and Jenna 
was fairly sure she knew what, or rather who, it was:  Dr. Samuel 
Beckett.

She didn't know how the topic of the possibility of her and Al 
producing a child had surfaced between them, but she doubted that 
Al had brought it up.  Dr. Beckett was an M.D. and he would have 
immediately realized the implications of the genetic information she 
had shown him that morning.  Also, he and Al were very close 
friends.  That much was obvious, even though she had only observed 
the two of them together twice.  Assuming that Dr. Beckett could 
read Al even better than she could, it was likely he had put two and 
two together and decided he had to warn Al about the danger any 
child they might conceive would face.  Al would have been furious, 
especially if he had not volunteered the information about his 
relationship with her.  

Jenna sighed quietly.  *Men!*  Dr. Beckett had no way of knowing 
about her medical history, but it should have occurred to him, if not 
Al, that even a previously fertile woman of forty three might have 
already experienced menopause.  No, she thought, Dr. Beckett had 
probably blurted out his concern about the situation and Al had been 
so offended at the uninvited intrusion into his personal life that he 
had issued some kind of ultimatum to Dr. Beckett.  *If I'm right,* 
Jenna thought, *that means both of them are miserable but also 
worried that they'll make things worse if they use the wrong 
approach in trying to defuse the situation.*

Al moved restlessly and groaned in his sleep again.  Jenna reached 
out and stroked his chest with her hand and then gently massaged 
his shoulders.  Al heaved a deep sigh and subsided into a quiet 
repose.  

*I'd better get some sleep,* Jenna thought, *it looks like I'll have a 
tough day tomorrow.*

*               *               *               * 

The next morning, Al was reserved and somewhat distracted at 
breakfast.  Jenna kept him company quietly; hoping he would say 
something about what was bothering him, but not really expecting 
him to open up.  When he had finished eating he rose from the table 
and began to wander away, almost aimlessly, without saying a word.  
He stopped short about ten yards away and turned to retrace his 
steps.

Al gave Jenna an apologetic smile.  "Sorry.  I guess I'm not the best 
company this morning."

"You're the best company anytime" Jenna reassured him.  "Want to 
talk about it?" she offered.

Al considered her suggestion.  "Not yet," he said "maybe later."

"All right," Jenna acquiesced.  "You know where to find me."

Al smiled at her again, with a little more spirit this time.  "Yes, I 
do" Al agreed.  "I'll see you later" he added, and left.

Jenna finished her coffee and went to her lab.  She asked Ziggy to 
advise her when Al made his next visit to the Imaging Chamber and 
settled down to work.  An hour and a half later, Ziggy reported that 
Al had entered the Imaging Chamber.  Jenna rose from her chair 
and made her way to the Control Room.  She greeted Gushie and 
Tina, leaned against the wall next to the door to the Imaging 
Chamber and prepared herself to wait.  

The elapsed time was shorter than she had hoped.  A mere seven 
minutes after Jenna had arrived, the door opened and Al appeared at 
the top of the ramp.  His head was slightly bowed, his feet were 
dragging and he was randomly poking the handlink with one finger.  
In other words, he bore little resemblance to his normally jaunty and 
alert self.

Jenna sighed as she pushed herself away from the wall and strode 
past him into the Imaging Chamber.  Al was startled from his 
preoccupied state by her unexpected appearance and destination.  He 
hesitated a moment, shaking his head in an attempt to comprehend 
the situation.  When his mind formed its' conclusion, his face 
opened up in an expression of shock and he bolted back up the 
ramp.

As Sam's surroundings resolved around him, Al saw that Jenna was 
standing near Sam, watching Al's approach.  Sam seemed to be 
completely absorbed in an examination of the coffee mug he held in 
his hands.  Al slowed his advance and stopped when he reached a 
point about six feet away from Sam.  The two men stood facing one 
another but looking, instead, at the woman standing quietly off to 
the side of the no man's land between them.

Jenna looked from one to the other, shaking her head.  "If I didn't 
have better things to do I'd work on a way to allow the two of you to 
interact physically, then crack your heads together" she said.

Al and Sam both looked away from her, but still ignored the other.

"Who started it?" Jenna asked.

Sam fidgeted a little, then spoke up.  "I guess that would be me" he 
said, looking up at Jenna again.

Jenna turned to Al.  "Are you the injured party here, or did you do 
something to make the situation worse?"

Al met her eyes with a level gaze for a few moments.  "I guess I 
overreacted" he stated, then clamped his mouth shut.

"Well," Jenna continued, looking back and forth between them "are 
you going to apologize?"

Al and Sam both turned to her.  "I'm sorry" they said in unison.

Jenna put her face in one hand and shook her head.  She looked 
back up at them.  "Not to _me_," she said in an exasperated tone "to 
each other".  Each man continued to studiously ignore the other.

"That does it," Jenna shouted, color rising in her face.  She turned to 
Sam.  "Why the hell are you apologizing to me?  You haven't done 
anything to me, but you've certainly done something to _him_!" 
Jenna accused, pointing at Al.

Sam stared at her in surprise for a moment, then glanced at Al, then 
back to Jenna.  *I must have misread Al completely,* he thought in 
confusion.  *But if they aren't lovers, why did Al get so mad?*  
"But, I thought...I mean, I said...don't you know what I..." Sam 
stammered.

"Shut up, Sam" Al interrupted, in a severe tone.

"Oh, _that's_ helpful" Jenna complained, throwing her hands up in 
the air.  She crossed her arms in front of her and stared at the floor.  
Finally she raised her head and looked at each of them for a long 
moment.  When she spoke again, her voice was calm but strained.
"You're acting like this has something to do with me.  Maybe it does 
and maybe it doesn't and at this point I don't care.  I was under the 
impression that you were both reasonable and intelligent men.  Try 
and keep that in mind when I ask you my next question".  Jenna 
turned to Sam.  "Dr. Beckett, are you satisfied with the current state 
of your relationship with Admiral Calavicci?"

Sam shot a quick glance at Al before looking back at Jenna.  "No, 
I'm not" he replied.

Jenna turned to Al.  "How about you?" she asked.

"No" Al answered, with a tired exhalation.

Jenna nodded.  "Well, I guess great minds really do think alike 
because it's aggravating the _hell_ out of me!  So _do_ something 
about it".  She turned and stalked out of the Imaging Chamber.

Sam and Al watched the door close behind her.

"She's really mad" Sam observed.

"At least she didn't say 'Men!' in that tone some women have" Al 
remarked.

"I'll bet she wanted to, though" Sam added.

"No bet" Al said, looking up to meet his friends' gaze.  

"I'm sorry, Al" Sam said.  "I shouldn't have pushed you.  You tried 
to warn me, but I wasn't listening."

"It was as much my fault as it was yours, Sam" Al admitted.  "I 
know you wouldn't antagonize me just for the hell of it.  I shouldn't 
have gotten mad at you for following your conscience."

The two men stood quietly for a moment, enjoying the sudden 
disappearance of the barriers they had erected between them.

"Why did Jenna say that what was going on between us didn't have 
anything to do with her?" Sam wondered, gazing toward the spot 
where she had vanished through the Imaging Chamber door.

Al chuckled weakly.  "Sam, you don't know how to quit when you're 
ahead, do you?" he said.

Sam jerked his head back to look at Al.  He had an alarmed 
expression on his face, as though he had just realized what he had 
said, or that he had said it aloud.

"Never mind, Sam.  Just let it go" Al advised.

Sam was relieved that Al's tone was quiet and relaxed.  Al was 
watching him patiently.  All his previous anger and defensiveness 
had dissipated without leaving a trace in his voice, face or body 
language.  A mental image of a medieval knight dropping the point 
of his sword and spreading his arms out to the side flashed suddenly 
into Sam's mind.  *He's disarmed himself,* Sam realized.  *It's up 
to me to respond to his gesture with honor or treachery, trust him or 
wound him again.*

Sam raised his hands up, palms forward, in an equivalent gesture of 
surrender.  "No argument here, Al" Sam agreed.  "I'll let you worry 
about figuring her out.  After all, you're the expert when it comes to 
women."

Al rewarded his choice with a wide grin.  "Yeah, well there are 
women and then there are women."

"Thanks for the tip" Sam replied.

*               *               *               * 

End Part 13 of  25