"Miss Deep South"
This isn't on the program! What the heck is she doing up there?
Oh lighten up, Harlan, it's rock and roll, and I like it!
-- the pageant judges describing Sam's performance in the talent contest, "Miss Deep South"

You shake my nerves, and you rattle my brain...
That kind of love drives a....er, WOMAN insane.
You broke my will, oh what a thrill
Goodness, gracious, Great balls of fire!
-- Sam, "Miss Deep South"

Smile!
-- Al, "Miss Deep South"

She had a major league set of gun turrets. ... That was a complement!
On what planet?
-- Al and Sam, "Miss Deep South"

I haven't seen a black and white set like this since I was a little ... girl.
-- Sam, "Miss Deep South"

You know, you're really a prude!
-- Al to Sam, "Miss Deep South"

Zippers were a brilliant invention.
-- Al, "Miss Deep South"

You see that, even as a hologram I'VE GOT IT.
-- Al, "Miss Deep South"

Don't tell me, let me guess, Scarlett O'Hara on steroids.
-- Al, "Miss Deep South"

Where did you learn to ...
4H club.
-- Connie and Sam, "Miss Deep South"

I felt alive - like I had electricity shootin' all through my body . . . you ever felt that way?
Yeah, once or twice.
-- Connie and Sam, "Miss Deep South"

So ... what are you measurements?
Why?
-- The pageant judge and Sam, "Miss Deep South"

That was the most humiliating experience of my life.
-- Sam, on the 'talent' contest, "Miss Deep South"

Just hang in there Connie, the cavalry's coming.
-- Al, "Miss Deep South"

I'm sorry, was that your foot? ... Watch your head! ... I'm sorry ...
-- Sam to Clint, "Miss Deep South"

Stay with her Al.
Like white on rice lil darlin'.
-- Sam and Al, "Miss Deep South"