"Stand-Up"
Mac's body is found in the desert in ...1982...and 1985...and 1989.  He's lizard food.
-- Al, "Stand Up"

You can make me any time ... laugh, make me laugh.
-- Al, "Stand Up"

Mac's fuze is shorter than his life line.
-- Al, "Stand Up"

You're not supposed to be funny, you're a scientist!
-- Al, "Stand Up"

I oughta belt you.
You don't have to, I've got a cummerbund.
-- Sam and Mac, "Stand Up"

What are you gonna do with that pie? <Jaws music> Sam...  ...What are you gonna do with that... <SPLAT>
-- Al, when Sam tries to smash a pie in the holgram's face, "Stand-Up"

Mack: "Oh boy, oh boy. How do you like that ladies and gentlemen. Davey’s got a new routine and he forgot to tell me about it."
Guy in audience: "Thank goodness one of you got a new routine."
Mack: "Hey buddy you want to come up here and do the show by yourself. I bet you do a lot of things by yourself. Huh?"

"That’s it. I’m killing you."

"You’re on a real roller coaster here."

"The three of us. The Three Stooges. That’s not funny."

Mack: "You think you can blackmail me."
Sam & Frankie: "Yes."

"That’s the way my mind works."

Mack: "Hit me."
Sam: "I would if I thought it would do any good."

"He’s lizard food."

"Two big ugly guys with noses for faces."